Up in the Bush

Whats up in the bush?

1)My Computer

My computer is an amazing thing, - my laptop to be precise. I don’t know what my life would be like without it,  especially without internet, especially when you live in the middle of ‘the bush’ , where all your everyday –take- for granted little luxuries are..well..missing. One minute, I'm throwing myself into work(on the laptop) - plan budget reply design...then arrhh..sick of doing that lets browse facebook and google images and recreate a menu that doesn’t really need recreating but what the heck...I like doing that sort of stuff- its what I procrastinate with that still makes me feel productive!...then ahh..tired of that lets blog a little... I swear it keeps me sane, beats going down to dusty ol salelologa to do shopping at _____wholesale where the tellers are only half paying attention to me and half texting their friends or plucking their brows at the same time.On another note- yay- tuasivi now makes Bakels Quality long donuts- for those of you who don’t know bakels- award winning NZ entrepreneur of all baking doughs and goods,, world renown if you are into the baking line of business...thanks mum!!

2) answering phone calls

I just answered a call from a random department in Saleologa who are trying to get credit with one of my relies businesses, some last minute thing and I’m like..sorry no can help,, you need to speak to dat person in particular (my rely) . This youngish sounding person then goes on the “se va’ai sis...” just need you to do me a favor and help me out here...just need your ok so I can do this....I don’t know what it is with us Samoans calling random strangers “sis” like that’s gonna make everything ok cos now we are buddy buddy...and it’s quite annoying having some young sounding  dimwit guy  who wants credit...go on a ‘se sis’ spiel which is completely  out of my help range- and sort of instruct me to do  this favour- like ARE YOU NUTS...eh. Stupid. Fanks for ending my day on a ‘eh’ note....

3) Preschool

My daughters  been going to a local preschool...I've always been  excited about that and hope her Samoan improves, she’s got some words down but string a sentence together you ask?? More like- “se mum, se aua wola wola aise fai alu a ea?”.....I’m sure she will pick it up in time though....she’s got enough people around her speaking Samoan. I remember just getting it kinda sorted by yr 8- kinda meaning ‘can manage to string a sentence together’...not so sure on the exact grammar and all...I remember writing essays in Samoan at home, and my sitter would proof read it ( or at least thats what i thought she did) ...and she would crack up in fits of laughter, not that my essay was comic or had humour at all of any sort (that I knew of) and then she’d run along and show the worker next door, and take it to the shop and show someone else...seriously- I wish I had kept a few of them to read now, maybe Id get what was so pathetically funny about them, .Lucky I was a kid and couldn’t care less..I was like uh? Whatever...why are you showing everyone my essay...don’t know why you think it’s so funny? Give it back already before I tell you on my mum...

4) driving

I still hate driving in Samoa.... Savaii is admittedly less stressful then Apia. Apia has had an explosion of cars  and there are like 2 cars  for every building you see, sheds and fales included. Its seriously stressful there..esp buses and taxis. But buses and taxis are no different in Savaii. Pull out infront of you, stop short with no break lights, being overtook on a curb and then almost shoved off the road when an opposing car comes its way..dammit man. Seriously i just about lose it sometimes and feel like following these idiots home...and yelling some sense into them- what if i got into an accident becos of you!RETARD...what if my kids were in the car!EGGHEAD! what if  someone got KILLED! LOSER...and BLOODY WELL HOPE ITS YOU ON that end of the stick one day! Ars$$%*le... 

READ the freaken rode code..dangit...dont know if people in Samoa even KNOW a road code exists...but on a positive note i used to get comments from colleagues/friends in nz when i lived there that i have very good defensive  driving skills...comes from 10yrs of defensive driving lessons by default.

5)Cooking

Lately the hubby and I have been pretty lousy at it. Cooking for ourselves...and to think we run a restaurant AND have kids....we have just been soooo busy, we’ve had quite a few of our staff call in sick/go on leave lately which has meant we are pretty much doing 6am til 10pm days everyday and when it comes to the evenings to cook something for ourselves (by which time we’ve both realised we haven’t eaten all day....you’d think we’d be losing weight already- nah...doesn't work that way when you stuff yourself silly because you are Starving by the end of the day!LOL) but we’ve hit that place now where we get to 6pm and one of us looks at the other, like- so are you gonna cook something? And im thinking- dang ive been soooo busy running around ALL DAY   and now i have to cook (i know- how immature- soon the kids will be cooking us dinner the way things are going with us!lol) and hes looking at me with that...can you see how tired i am ? can you see how disheveled I look- that's how i feel ...yes...and you want me to muster up something?   then we are both like- crap..we had better get something done up for the kids we have,  and whip up a totally unhealthy fastfood fried food  poor excuse of a dinner...must not be good for my kids but you know, i figure they are growing so it isn’t THAT bad for em...and there are always heaps of veges in whatever fry up we can conjure up in 5 minutes....but yea...i can feel my arteries clogging up as i type...dammit. if only lettuce wasn’t $20 a head in Samoa.

 Yep- so thats my top 5 list of whats been a happening lately....fair to say its a pretty usual week for us here in the bushJ  keep ya all posted in my future blogs!!

Bush-mechanics, last minute buffet and grey hair...

Yesterday, I arrived back into da bush- after spending 3 days on the mainland. It was a last minute decision (like literally we decided within 30 minutes of the ferry departing) we had too many things piling up on our "to do list" for Apia and as it looked to be a quiet week at the business, we jumped shipped and went to the big city.

While we were there, we thought we'd get our vehicle looked at (finally) it was making a disturbingly loud humming noise when you drove it (for lack of any other mechanical explanation)- like the mechanic asked me over the phone- "whats wrong with your car"- me (with no idea of how a car works)- "uhm, it hums...like really loud." questions like " do you think its a bearing and which one or a cv joint??" mean nothing to me..you might as well be speaking chinese. Anyways, me and the hubby constantly fight over where to take our cars..the ongoing- you dont know who to trust debate (i.e they might take parts from your car to fix their friends car and us being clueless would not know...) always prevails and for the last few years our vehicles always end up at some bush mechanics front lawn.

Definition of bushmechanic- A person with some experience but most likely no qualifications, who ends up being a known "mechanic" in the bush because well- there are no car garages/qualified mechanics here...skills are questionable but they could probably glue a hosepipe, a saucepan and some twine together and get your car moving again...for a week or two...

I lose my mind every time our car ends up at the bush mechanics place because- 

1) they have no concept of time and constantly hold you at randsome- ie.well i dont have time today but maybe next week- leave you car here and Ill do little amounts of work over the next 3 months to get that thing fixed
2) they dont really have tools/machines/parts/oil etc things you need to diagnose/resolve problems and we constantly have to run into town to get stuff.. (you know stuff a normal garage would usually have like Oil, grease, brake fluid ..a spanner)
3) they dont ever clean your car and infact you get it back with a few CDs missing, hand grease marks all over the ceiling/side doors/ on the floor that can not be washed off
4) if you are lucky like us and your car stays there for a month, bet your bottom dollar it will also have nasty mould in it on it and around it as well...thanks
5) the twisty packets and bubble gum on the chair are small hints that maybe some young children found a play haven in your car while it was at the mechanics..
6) when it does get fixed..most likely the mechanic WONT call you and tell you that your car is fixed and ready to be collected, but  instead use your car for a week for personal errands, and when they run into you on the road- they may throw  you a nonchalant apology- " theres been a funeral in the family" and they just need to cart pusa elegi and Povi to a village kua in your car..

and lastly..at no point can you sue them, yell at them, throw stones at them for how uunprofessional the above is because..your car might die at the Maliolio river one day and you may need his Mcgiver quick fixes to get you out of their before the river bursts...

nuff said.

Anyways- we took the car to a 'proper' mechanic and prayed he did a  good job and didnt replace things with old bus parts...we got it back looking pretty buff, cleaned and all the faulty things resolved..however the mechanics failed to screw the bolts of a wheel on tight and halfway to the wharf the hubby (and I swear someone is looking out for him) happened to see 3 silver things fly out the side of the car, he pulled over and his front tyre was one spin away from coming off completely...he was with my daughter and we can not count how many thankyou prayers we have said as he avoided a major accident surely. Of course the "proper" mechanics got a bit sloppy and the hubby gave them a peice of his mind...dang it..this might mean that our cars go back to bush mechanics int he future...crap.

So now , we are back on the big island...Now I know Ive mentioned many times my grey hairs, in actual fact its one small patch of grey hairs that I have that make me look a bit rogue/xmen like...Just discovered this week that this is a genetic trait common in pacific islanders..wow..that explains it all- but Im sure its accelerated by stress!! haha...and what stress do I have to share today? Well..part of the hubbys  business' biggest stress is our bar/restaurant. If  I had seriously known how much work this sort of enterprise required I think I would have thought twice about going into this. But as we have, over the years we've tried things that have flourished and things that have failed. There are many things we dont get in Savaii so we try to keep things minimal, fresh, tasty and straight from our surrounding suppliers ....what always gets up my nose (just a little) is when customers come in and say things like "why dont you have Samoan food on your menu?" ok...we have oka, falai I'a, faiai fee ,kale moa..etc...but no they want umu and luau, pua'a and mamoe kao..but oh did I mention we want our food served in 20 minutes otherwise "this is the worst place Ive ever been too" ok..an umu takes hours to prepare..and if you have 1 guest dining a day..its just not feasable..

Anyways, we try to put some local things on the menu but a big fat  Samoan feast really is only on offer for a booked buffet or Sundays (where we will just share our family toanai) anyways..today, a group of 30 guests staying with us for a local "event" (comprising of locals from Apia) were humming and hah-ing overwhat to get for  their dinner, theyve been here 3 days and mostly never eat at our restuarnt (apparently they are being fed by various clubs/churches etc) but today they come up, look at our menu (ala carte menu, you know, like steak, fish and chips etc- one meal will serve on person) and said- well, we dont feel like this. Instead could you make us plates like this  (like sunrise style)for $20 and could you get us some moa samoa etc etc  ok its Saturday afternoon..the shops are all closed..and now you want a buffet?? at the last minute? for a miniscle price??.."you know, we are in Savaii so we feel like these things" right- first of all- get yourselves organised please and think of the sod who now has to run around like crazy for your last minute appettite...I cant exactly go out and buy a moa samoa from a little shop in the village...I can faakogu some from families,...but for tomorrow...people are not exactly sitting at home hoping that some visitor will come and ask them to go catch a chicken for them to eat that very day..e se kailo se...I swear my siga patch just expanded...lol- in actual fact the poor hubby, all 110kgs and 34 yrs of him, ran around the hotel..and actually caught a couple of moas...yes, believe it. He was panting terribly by the end of it and probably lost a few pounds as well...but thats what you gotta do to Satisfy your customers....hmmm...

I wonder whether these people walk into Restaurants in Apia and look at the menu, and then demand something completely different? like who does that??arggg...then they look at you with an eyebrow raised as if to say " you are in the hospitality industry, its your job to please me and bend over backwards to fulfil my dreams of food in Savaii"...Ia ua lelei la  Mr I dream of Savaii food...LOL.  Anyways- this is my usual rant and rave over the headaches of my  day/week...at the end of it all...I think we get the job done and people go away satisfied...agailoa le blog lea Id probably be hung!haha....

anways- gotta go now and look for stock for this buffet...maua gei foi le mea foi gale e 30 people ga book ae o appettites a le 90 people so need to hunt down  the last of potatoes, taro veges etc ,..remaining on the side of the road stalls and in village shops! Sei aumai foi i Salafai se Farmer Joes faamolemole! Til my next blog..ciao!