For now, things seem to have evolved to being more in my control with the clinic. I set my hours, I chose my days off...that is kind of cool..except when it doesn't quite workout that way. Take for instance yesterday. Yesterday the sign on the door says 5PM CLOSED. I have been there since 8am and I am tired. I want to go see my kids, my sitter is waiting to go home, I am hungry because in actual fact I had people to be seen right through lunch and beyond, so now I am hypoglycaemic and grumpy. I stay behind another 30mins to try to catch up on some paperwork. Almost an hour after the office is closed I leave, laptop bag, and an extra kagapepa of books I hope to read in hand weighing like a tonne. As I am walking down the path awwwaay from my clinic. A car rushes up..this car symbolises every other person in Savaii as of late. A couple get out and eyeball me..the conversation is along the lines of "uhm, where are you going? we are here to see you!"..the answer is- oh? really..so sorry the clinic is closed, ga kapugi i le lima, le ua ka le ogo. - reply- total disregard of what I said- hop out of the car and hobble over, husband and wife hand in hand- awaiting me with a look on their face that say "well? open up" I explain again- I am closed now- so now they play for excuses, "oh, really, ok well can you just explain bla and bla...we saw you last week..bla bla bla..e vave ah..bla bla bla"...ok lady, I have like 500 people registered here now and frankly..cant remember what I gave you and what bla and bla was for. In the end, had to open up look for their file to sort their misunderstandings out and then come all the questions about why they are sweating and why they have a headache etcits a consultation by force... all the while,me- very grumpy, cos the receptionist has completely miffed the filing system I showed her to carry on and can not for the life of me locate this persons file number, and in the end just go commando and try to guess all the things done from last week.
The couple , obviously seeing my disappointment with the hour of their arrival, shove a $10 at me with apologetic nods.. and gestures to 'take'the $10 awaiting some sort of thanks....to be honest, I could not give a flies arse for another $10 now, my sitter is pissed cos she has kids and a family she is late to get to, and by the time I get home everything planned is delayed an hour so I might as well forget about any reading..cranky cranky pants alternate personality coming out is not winning me any brownie points as now I am sure they are gonna go spread how sour I was looking the whole time and how unprofessional I was ...eh, faiaku a foi. To make matters worse..the man had a nose that was dripping on my floor, so I offered him a tissue having not seen one on him (which of course he blew his nose profusely on) and after they left I found it, scrunched up on the floor, 2 feet away from a very visible red rubbish bin....r u serious??Last week - it was SAME scenario with another couple except they called my other half and played the Matai card and I was 'obliged' almost to open for them...only to honestly pull my hair out about the nature of their visit (I had thought it was some urgent emergency or something) ae leai, faimai ga fai le kalagoaga ma le lakou aiga, kau ia a'u and they didn't know I had a clinic here, omai ai lea e fai se siaki...ARE YOU FREAKEN SERIOUS! It was open all day but still..the
This is the mindset of alot of people lateley and it will stop. Because lord help me but the time for being oncall around the clock for all ye patients for me has freaken ended. That is why I have gone out of me own and ended my time a the 24hour centre called "the hospital".... Sometimes, I don't mind if its a genuine emergency/worry/concern from a patient I am well affiliated with/related too/good friends with ...and people ask nicely...word to remember is -nicely. Because the saying stands true that you treat others like they treat you..and not treat me like I am your servant- Open Se-sa-me type shop..nope not da way it works....whenever you want, whenever you please.
Don't get me wrong, its not that I am uncaring and unkind, its because I have a family and I have a life. And I only have 2 arms and 2 legs and I have to decide how much I can constantly be giving out, when I am being given (whether by choice or by force) constantly to patients patients patients...something else misses out and more often then not its my family. I've already lost some of the most important family in my life and regret deeply some extra time that was spent on the job just prior...so now its called priorities. Unfortunately sometimes drawing those lines and those boundaries can feel like a slap in the face to others, but honestly, there are other choices for places to go, and those places and set up to receive round the clock calls.
Anyways- take home message for me is- get a back door so I can run away without being spotted and stopped:)
ok, rant and rave for the day...now I need to go take a chill pill ke'i ua stoke se faiai a seisi!!
