Today I fought with a priest. Not physically but well lets just say ‘exchanged words’, me and his relatives. I kicked myself for not having improved my Samoan after all these years, I can speak the basic lingo but I know that when it comes to being polite I can be far from it at times…knowing only to say “se’i tulou” before I mention sh*t poos wees and vomit…
And to think, me and a priest. I think I can be excused but a priest?hmm..Not so sure.
I knew when I restarted work that I would come into contact with the same frustrations I fought in Upolu. It’s not the place but the people. The same, occasionally, (not everyone) ill informed overly superstitious and ignorant (and excuse me but basically stupid) persons….in charge of small sick children who cannot look after themselves and are at the mercy of idiots. I cried on our round today, not once or twice but maybe a good 5 times I had to walk out and go to the bathroom. I’m not sure if it was the anger, anger that these people just didn’t seem to “get” what I was explaining, warning and begging them to beware of, or the sadness I had for the child at the mercy of these morons. At the centre of this scandal is a 4yr old boy. He’s been sick likely a full two weeks at home. He has the clear picture of typhoid sepsis; typhoid at most rears its ugly head as a brief stint of stomach ailments and fevers, but at its worse can ravage ones body to the point of dehydration, inflamed bowels, bleeding, and shock. This kid was rushed into ED at that point. He probably had a good 2 cups of fluid left in his body, had profuse uncontrollable diarrhoea, was just lying there oblivious to anyone groaning in pain esp. if anyone got anywhere near his tummy, had a glazed look over his eyes, that look of impending death. We had to quickly get some fluid into him and then started our treatment for him.
It was soon discovered that he had been quite unwell for a good week at home at the mercy of a fofo, being fed all sorts of rubbish (well…all the traditional remedies, some of which are probably ok for fever and mild viral infections but not for major illnesses) likely forced down his throat as he could not even eat or swallow anything of his own accord. I explained to the family our likely diagnosis and then need for careful but rigorous treatment which in his case would be for no less then 14 days. After only a day and a bit in hosp, the family are wanting to take him home. His dehydration is corrected but the kid is still very sick, unable to eat or drink, walk or talk is still delirious - we were contemplating sending him over to Apia for close monitoring and further treatment there. The reason they want to take him??? Nobody can (be bothered to) stay and look after him in hosp. The father (the priest) was busy with church/village activities, the mother has other children and commitments at home, the grandmother (who is actually at the root of all evil in this case) has to go to NZ for something in 2 days so has to go prepare blab la. On informing them that the kid is still critically ill the grandmother starts huffing and puffing and going on about him not being any better, he was better off at home (were he was literally dying of dehydration) in the background there are murmurs of taking him back to a fofo. Bla bla. I begged the father to put his son first, above all his other commitments and duties (if I could say what I was actually thinking in my head it would be along the lines of “are you f*#n crazy? Your son is dying and you want to go prepare for Sunday mass??”) I told him his village could wait they would understand his child is critically unwell, I begged the stupid grandmother who was insistent he was ‘better of at home and its not typhoid it’s some Samoan disease affecting his throat’. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to get lost cos I could see the father actually wanted to the kid to stay but was being pressured by this crazy woman (his mother in law).
To cut a long story short I lost the battle, no amount of tears -:to give us one more day to try to get him at least well enough to drink (I mean what the hell are they going to do at home if he cant drink?? They’re going to choke him with some moronic concoction because he is too delirious to swallow that’s what) no amount of begging, no amount of threatening (along the lines of “it’ll be on your head if your kid dies, not at the will of god cause god has taught us how to cure this and you are making the decision to not let us carry this out…not god”) no amount of quiet encouragement and pleading could change their minds. They just stared at me blankly as if not a word I said registered, and then asked for the self discharge form to sign. It’s so true that saying you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. No amount of persuasion, pleading begging and beating could make this horse drink. And it just tore me up inside. Why the hell did the even bring the kid to hospital for?? It’s like oh we’ll give this a go and now they’ve decided they can’t be bothered or aren’t patient enough to await the desired result (cure) and have made a really ill informed decision.
I cried today because I hurt for the child who suffers. Because he has no voice. No voice to say no, lets not do that, I want to live. I cried because they wouldn’t listen to me. Most times in my profession you say something, and people listen. Most people here know very little about anatomy and disease, so giving them knowledge, to me is like giving them power. The power to understand and make informed choices. Why wouldn’t they listen?? I cried because the father was weak, to weak to stand up to his mother in law, he is a leader of a congregation but below his mother-in-law’s whiplash of a tongue he is a child, obeying whatever she says. I cried in advance, for this kid’s funeral. I will pray for a miracle, that that is not the end result for this child. I pray that hopefully the short course of treatment we have given might see him come out of the woodwork tomorrow. I pray that he will return to the happy cheerful and healthy child he once was. And i pray that the people of Samoa (not everyone, but the ones who need it) grow some brains and some balls.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
poverty???
If someone once said that Poverty does not exist in Samoa, I would challenge them to think again. I guess poverty is defined on so many different levels that at first glance you would think, yes well we don’t have anorexic starving people dying on the side of the road, but if you want to see where poverty presents itself, step into my shoes for a day or two.
Today I watched a young mother cry, as she dutifully held her son down for me while I stuck needles and Iv lines into him. Her kid,only just one year old, had been at home for the last week at the mercy of a toxic infection ravaging his weak little body. They only now present to the hospital a whole week after they had noticed a huge red swelling on the side of his neck, and had tried conservative traditional remedies (fofo etc) until it had gotten to the point where at a glance you could see the kid was so different from his usual self. Lethargic weary, unable to smile, barely able to hold his head up. At first it made me angry- was she stupid?? The mum?? Now that I am a mum myself and am fiercely protective over my daughter to the point where I would love to carry around some dettol spray to spray on the hands on anyone who wants to hold her(!!!) I feel passionately for kids who are still unable to really look after theirselves, they are at the mercy of their (?sometimes stupid??) parents. I thought what they hell were they thinking leaving it this long?? Perhaps they didn’t know any better (that this could easily track near more precious organs such as his BRAIN ) but surely one could see from the look of the kid and the size and tenderness of the swelling that he was pretty sick. In the end it all boiled down to money. They live far away. No ones earns a paid job, they live from hand to mouth, from what they reap and sow in the earth around them. They couldn’t afford a busfare. They had wanted to come earlier but had to wait, beg and borrow to get a few measly bucks perhaps almost too late, to get to the hospital. That’s what it boiled down to. And I could see in the mothers teary eyes that this was the truth. You’d think but surely that can not be. Surely there were neighbours someone who could have given them money a ride earlier or they had a stash somewhere?? I am quickly finding out that in some parts of Samoa, money is like gold, precious and rare.
Almost every patient today who wanted a repeat script for their usual medications had already run out 2 weeks prior (thus were flying without a pilot (medications) for a while) Thus they were yet again at the mercy of scoring blood pressures and uncontrollable blood sugars…by the 20th person it was beginning to piss me off, how so careless they were, why didn’t they come in earlier like we always tell them (get your repeat medications BEFORE you run out) so I let one slip and sarcastically asked someone if they were TRYING to give themselves a ‘stroke’ by coming so late ( I know- it was a weak moment and I will regret it forever) the person then very quietly responded with a quivering voice that they were sorry, they knew they should have come earlier but this was the soonest they could get any busfare and come…I felt my heart crack. Thinking about it too, a lot of these patients do actually travel from the other side of the island…so that would be a good 10 bucks return which is a lot of money for some people. Then they get here and I prescribe them 3 months worth of meds, and the useless pharmacy who never seem to have enough stock give them only 6 weeks worth, so that this poor person has to look again for busfare they cannot afford again, sooner then actually necessary.
These people may not be starving, but when they are sick…they often can not afford to look after themselves, often its too little too late…and people die from tragically simple things…simple infections, simple conditions...that could have easily been treated/prevented.Tis a sad but true storey in my beloved homeland And I hope one day things will change, our services will improve to meet this need & people will have access to these basic neccessaties in life.
Today I watched a young mother cry, as she dutifully held her son down for me while I stuck needles and Iv lines into him. Her kid,only just one year old, had been at home for the last week at the mercy of a toxic infection ravaging his weak little body. They only now present to the hospital a whole week after they had noticed a huge red swelling on the side of his neck, and had tried conservative traditional remedies (fofo etc) until it had gotten to the point where at a glance you could see the kid was so different from his usual self. Lethargic weary, unable to smile, barely able to hold his head up. At first it made me angry- was she stupid?? The mum?? Now that I am a mum myself and am fiercely protective over my daughter to the point where I would love to carry around some dettol spray to spray on the hands on anyone who wants to hold her(!!!) I feel passionately for kids who are still unable to really look after theirselves, they are at the mercy of their (?sometimes stupid??) parents. I thought what they hell were they thinking leaving it this long?? Perhaps they didn’t know any better (that this could easily track near more precious organs such as his BRAIN ) but surely one could see from the look of the kid and the size and tenderness of the swelling that he was pretty sick. In the end it all boiled down to money. They live far away. No ones earns a paid job, they live from hand to mouth, from what they reap and sow in the earth around them. They couldn’t afford a busfare. They had wanted to come earlier but had to wait, beg and borrow to get a few measly bucks perhaps almost too late, to get to the hospital. That’s what it boiled down to. And I could see in the mothers teary eyes that this was the truth. You’d think but surely that can not be. Surely there were neighbours someone who could have given them money a ride earlier or they had a stash somewhere?? I am quickly finding out that in some parts of Samoa, money is like gold, precious and rare.
Almost every patient today who wanted a repeat script for their usual medications had already run out 2 weeks prior (thus were flying without a pilot (medications) for a while) Thus they were yet again at the mercy of scoring blood pressures and uncontrollable blood sugars…by the 20th person it was beginning to piss me off, how so careless they were, why didn’t they come in earlier like we always tell them (get your repeat medications BEFORE you run out) so I let one slip and sarcastically asked someone if they were TRYING to give themselves a ‘stroke’ by coming so late ( I know- it was a weak moment and I will regret it forever) the person then very quietly responded with a quivering voice that they were sorry, they knew they should have come earlier but this was the soonest they could get any busfare and come…I felt my heart crack. Thinking about it too, a lot of these patients do actually travel from the other side of the island…so that would be a good 10 bucks return which is a lot of money for some people. Then they get here and I prescribe them 3 months worth of meds, and the useless pharmacy who never seem to have enough stock give them only 6 weeks worth, so that this poor person has to look again for busfare they cannot afford again, sooner then actually necessary.
These people may not be starving, but when they are sick…they often can not afford to look after themselves, often its too little too late…and people die from tragically simple things…simple infections, simple conditions...that could have easily been treated/prevented.Tis a sad but true storey in my beloved homeland And I hope one day things will change, our services will improve to meet this need & people will have access to these basic neccessaties in life.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
whats going on....
Whats going on in my life today?? Well some might say not much, as it seems i have dropped off the face of the earth. That's because I am chillaxing in Savaii, my new home, and so you may not see me around (like everyone ever saw me when I was in Apia anyways har har..). But, Things are still going on, the brain is still ticking, and somebody is home..I haven't vanquished myself..and I'm still thinking of blogworthy things to write about all the time! yes, even in Savaii, there are great things to be shared with the world!!
A few days ago, I finally got a girl. At the mo, and for the next few months shes mainly just here to help me..but eventually shell be a stay at home babysitter when i finally (if ever) decide to haul my butt back to work! It has taken yonks to finally give in/find/scrutinize and finally allow someone to do the job she is doing.you know how there is that little voice in your head that they say you should listen to?? (or is it your heart?? well which ever..) Mines says NO NO NO...to having someone intrude into the little life of my precious, but the voices around me (yes I'm becoming schizophrenic) all say "so when are you going back to work?" " you really just need to do it " (go back to work) " we hear there aren't enough people at work" " SAvaii really needs you"...its like, aweee shucks..fine. (:) )Oh and "you must really miss it" (for that one, its like, yeaaaahh, nah not really, when youve worked in an environment that is constantly crazy/ hectic /busy and involves death and dying and angry patients and even angrier co-workers, getting to stay home bake a cake and then eat it too is just LUXUUURY !!LOL)
BUt, as always , in this profession, somehow there are certain issues that are just always 'morally wrong' (or so society says) .Its straight forward to me, in the end, its still a job, you pay for a service, and you cant expect me to work my head, heart, body and soul ...to the ground...I mean yes, its a good cause, but you know, the cause will always be there, and sometimes, you have to prioritise whats important in your life. The one that always gets me is "there was this emergency , and who and who was really ill, and they rushed to the hosp and there was no doctor"...now those stories always scare me, that's just wrong,I always think, now what if that were my mum, or my sister, or my grandma?? It should never happen, and if its because I ha vent hauled my ass back to work, well , I'm coming. Soon. In a few months.
Anyways, to get back to the point, having this girl, (the carer) in my house, has just been heartbreaking. I mean she is really good, no one says she isnt. Its just, she keeps wanting to si'i my daughter, and I'm like No...I'm here, i can sii her, you just go wipe a table or something (i know, how selfish, but I'm just feeling too attached right now to let anyone else in...and its just not fair...why cant i just stay at home forever, and enjoy the pleasures of my daughter growing up without growing slowly insane....) he he!
OK, so what else is going on, well, our neighbours have this boat. Its a fairly biggish boat that they go deep sea fishing for tuna etc here in the big island. Not too many people have them. But for freaks sake it is certainly on its last legs, and it dies, about 100yards out from their make shift doc (behind their house) which always puts it about 30yards from my house, every single time they come home. And for an hour theres banging and hammering, and yelps and more banging. They keep telling us later the motor died, and gawd only knows what the heck they are doing with all that banging to fix it.Must be the old Samoan remedy of 'just keep hitting it ' til it comes back on.:) (se'i malepe le mea then we'll ask those guys in NZ/Aust/Pago to buy a new one!) Anyways, its always far too early in the morning and it wakes the baby, and I'm about ready to throw a hammer at someones head on the boat one morning (and go Oops, thought you might need one! sorry)
so yesterday the boat dies a little further out, beyond the reef, and its just kinda drifting and i guess the banging doesn't work. So what do they do, here's one to laugh at. They approach my husband about a boat they can just make out thru a hole in their fence and ours that they've been spying on i guess, with a tiny little motor, like smaller then a lawnmower, like maybe a weed eater size..its a little dingy, like it has oars that your meant to paddle around in, like just bigger then a kayak. And they want us to go out and haul them back in. Now their boat is like huuuuuge and our dingy is like tiny and i just couldn't see how they could figure our little thingy could haul them in with out killing the motor and breaking the boat in half, but that is soo typical of our people. They don't really have that thought in mind, alot of them really do have a use and abuse mentality, esp if they've had all their material possessions sent from overseas relatives and have never had to break a sweat over getting things for themselves.They dont really know the value of things coz, theyll just get someone else to go out and 'buy them another one' when it breaks...as an excuse.
These same neighbours keep asking us for tools too. not just a hammer and saw, they want our power tools our industrial drills and saws and chainsaws and lawnmowers...because, well, they got some but theyre broke/lost/dead/filed down/blunt from abuse....and so they would like to now demolish our tools thanks. Luckily, the boats motor was dead so we couldn't help them out there, and sorry all our tools are being used right now coz we're building a house (they are also building a house, but they can see we are building a house..what they want us to share??we build in morning they build in evening??)
A couple of nights ago, this same family, approached us, and asked us for 3 grand , to borrow of course, cos like, that's the kinda money we just have growing on the mango tree outside. anyways, the funny part is when asked what its for, they said their close rely in NZ got a call from a man from Nokia cell phone company who told her she had won $600,000.00 dollars and she had to send them 3 grand as a process fee in order for her to get her prize.(like if it were for real they couldnt just cut the 3 grand from the 6 hundred THOUSAND dollars theyve supposedly won??) Of course, she didn't even enter any draw or anything- does this not sound like a S-C-A-M to you?? well, we politely said sorry, we didn't have the money, then tried to explain that this sounded dodgy and it was likely a scam. however, i think they're still not over the excitement and persistently insisted it was for real cos the nokia man called them in person..yea, the nokia guy from Zimbabwe whos sitting at a computer calling a million people trying to see who'll be idiotic enough to send him money. Anyways, they walked away with a "just wait til we're rich, then you'll be sorry" attitude and we both hope they don't find someone to lend them the money, cos its only gonna bite them in the butt.
So you see, interesting things do happen here, ...Ill keep you posted!
A few days ago, I finally got a girl. At the mo, and for the next few months shes mainly just here to help me..but eventually shell be a stay at home babysitter when i finally (if ever) decide to haul my butt back to work! It has taken yonks to finally give in/find/scrutinize and finally allow someone to do the job she is doing.you know how there is that little voice in your head that they say you should listen to?? (or is it your heart?? well which ever..) Mines says NO NO NO...to having someone intrude into the little life of my precious, but the voices around me (yes I'm becoming schizophrenic) all say "so when are you going back to work?" " you really just need to do it " (go back to work) " we hear there aren't enough people at work" " SAvaii really needs you"...its like, aweee shucks..fine. (:) )Oh and "you must really miss it" (for that one, its like, yeaaaahh, nah not really, when youve worked in an environment that is constantly crazy/ hectic /busy and involves death and dying and angry patients and even angrier co-workers, getting to stay home bake a cake and then eat it too is just LUXUUURY !!LOL)
BUt, as always , in this profession, somehow there are certain issues that are just always 'morally wrong' (or so society says) .Its straight forward to me, in the end, its still a job, you pay for a service, and you cant expect me to work my head, heart, body and soul ...to the ground...I mean yes, its a good cause, but you know, the cause will always be there, and sometimes, you have to prioritise whats important in your life. The one that always gets me is "there was this emergency , and who and who was really ill, and they rushed to the hosp and there was no doctor"...now those stories always scare me, that's just wrong,I always think, now what if that were my mum, or my sister, or my grandma?? It should never happen, and if its because I ha vent hauled my ass back to work, well , I'm coming. Soon. In a few months.
Anyways, to get back to the point, having this girl, (the carer) in my house, has just been heartbreaking. I mean she is really good, no one says she isnt. Its just, she keeps wanting to si'i my daughter, and I'm like No...I'm here, i can sii her, you just go wipe a table or something (i know, how selfish, but I'm just feeling too attached right now to let anyone else in...and its just not fair...why cant i just stay at home forever, and enjoy the pleasures of my daughter growing up without growing slowly insane....) he he!
OK, so what else is going on, well, our neighbours have this boat. Its a fairly biggish boat that they go deep sea fishing for tuna etc here in the big island. Not too many people have them. But for freaks sake it is certainly on its last legs, and it dies, about 100yards out from their make shift doc (behind their house) which always puts it about 30yards from my house, every single time they come home. And for an hour theres banging and hammering, and yelps and more banging. They keep telling us later the motor died, and gawd only knows what the heck they are doing with all that banging to fix it.Must be the old Samoan remedy of 'just keep hitting it ' til it comes back on.:) (se'i malepe le mea then we'll ask those guys in NZ/Aust/Pago to buy a new one!) Anyways, its always far too early in the morning and it wakes the baby, and I'm about ready to throw a hammer at someones head on the boat one morning (and go Oops, thought you might need one! sorry)
so yesterday the boat dies a little further out, beyond the reef, and its just kinda drifting and i guess the banging doesn't work. So what do they do, here's one to laugh at. They approach my husband about a boat they can just make out thru a hole in their fence and ours that they've been spying on i guess, with a tiny little motor, like smaller then a lawnmower, like maybe a weed eater size..its a little dingy, like it has oars that your meant to paddle around in, like just bigger then a kayak. And they want us to go out and haul them back in. Now their boat is like huuuuuge and our dingy is like tiny and i just couldn't see how they could figure our little thingy could haul them in with out killing the motor and breaking the boat in half, but that is soo typical of our people. They don't really have that thought in mind, alot of them really do have a use and abuse mentality, esp if they've had all their material possessions sent from overseas relatives and have never had to break a sweat over getting things for themselves.They dont really know the value of things coz, theyll just get someone else to go out and 'buy them another one' when it breaks...as an excuse.
These same neighbours keep asking us for tools too. not just a hammer and saw, they want our power tools our industrial drills and saws and chainsaws and lawnmowers...because, well, they got some but theyre broke/lost/dead/filed down/blunt from abuse....and so they would like to now demolish our tools thanks. Luckily, the boats motor was dead so we couldn't help them out there, and sorry all our tools are being used right now coz we're building a house (they are also building a house, but they can see we are building a house..what they want us to share??we build in morning they build in evening??)
A couple of nights ago, this same family, approached us, and asked us for 3 grand , to borrow of course, cos like, that's the kinda money we just have growing on the mango tree outside. anyways, the funny part is when asked what its for, they said their close rely in NZ got a call from a man from Nokia cell phone company who told her she had won $600,000.00 dollars and she had to send them 3 grand as a process fee in order for her to get her prize.(like if it were for real they couldnt just cut the 3 grand from the 6 hundred THOUSAND dollars theyve supposedly won??) Of course, she didn't even enter any draw or anything- does this not sound like a S-C-A-M to you?? well, we politely said sorry, we didn't have the money, then tried to explain that this sounded dodgy and it was likely a scam. however, i think they're still not over the excitement and persistently insisted it was for real cos the nokia man called them in person..yea, the nokia guy from Zimbabwe whos sitting at a computer calling a million people trying to see who'll be idiotic enough to send him money. Anyways, they walked away with a "just wait til we're rich, then you'll be sorry" attitude and we both hope they don't find someone to lend them the money, cos its only gonna bite them in the butt.
So you see, interesting things do happen here, ...Ill keep you posted!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
death
I know I talk about death and dying a bit in my blogs, kinda comes witht he job so cant really help it:) sorry guys, but i just couldnt help but make this comment, on a recent event in Savaii that just breaks my heart.
Last week, a newly wed young couple, expecting their first child at any moment, got into a two car head on collision here in Savaii. What had happened was the lady had gone into labour, so the husband was rushing to the hosptial. No one knows exactly the details of how the accident came about, but Im pretty sure it involved speed on two cars parts, people tend to do that in Savaii, cause our roads our smooth and pretty pothole free. They think its a highway in auckland somewhere and go flying thru the villages narrowly missing pigs, old men and children on the side of the road!! Anyways, the couple were rushed to the hospital having both sustained serious injuries, the husband died there, and the wife was rushed to Apia. She lost her baby, and is in critical condition at present. This just breaks my heart.
This sorta stuff makes me want to get my A into Gear and go back to work, could I have helped make a difference???If this couple were in Apia, would the outcome be different? now what if it happened to someone I know, I love, what if it were me?? all these questions come into mind, and make me shudder at the thought that this is the environment 'I' live in, in the case of an emergency, I am at least 2 hours away from major specialty services that make the difference in these sorta situations (sometimes). Not that emergencies happen often, but they happen, and when they do you want to be comfortable in the knowledge that help is close by.
I cannot help but feel a huge sadness for this Lady, she lost her husband, and her baby,if that were me, thats my whole life right there. Why do these things happen??Such a huge tragedy to be carried upon the heart of such a fragile human being.
I pray that she makes an uneventful recovery, and that she has the strength to rebuild her life after such an atrocious tragedy...
Last week, a newly wed young couple, expecting their first child at any moment, got into a two car head on collision here in Savaii. What had happened was the lady had gone into labour, so the husband was rushing to the hosptial. No one knows exactly the details of how the accident came about, but Im pretty sure it involved speed on two cars parts, people tend to do that in Savaii, cause our roads our smooth and pretty pothole free. They think its a highway in auckland somewhere and go flying thru the villages narrowly missing pigs, old men and children on the side of the road!! Anyways, the couple were rushed to the hospital having both sustained serious injuries, the husband died there, and the wife was rushed to Apia. She lost her baby, and is in critical condition at present. This just breaks my heart.
This sorta stuff makes me want to get my A into Gear and go back to work, could I have helped make a difference???If this couple were in Apia, would the outcome be different? now what if it happened to someone I know, I love, what if it were me?? all these questions come into mind, and make me shudder at the thought that this is the environment 'I' live in, in the case of an emergency, I am at least 2 hours away from major specialty services that make the difference in these sorta situations (sometimes). Not that emergencies happen often, but they happen, and when they do you want to be comfortable in the knowledge that help is close by.
I cannot help but feel a huge sadness for this Lady, she lost her husband, and her baby,if that were me, thats my whole life right there. Why do these things happen??Such a huge tragedy to be carried upon the heart of such a fragile human being.
I pray that she makes an uneventful recovery, and that she has the strength to rebuild her life after such an atrocious tragedy...
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