laughter is the best medicine, but it dont cure insomnia...

HELLO everybody. I have finally decided to contribute something to the world of blogging, after weeks of being guilty of just enjoying other peoples blogs but not contributing!! he he!! Part of the reasoning for that is that I have dial up at home which is as slow as a snail, plus I have had limited time at work to sit down in front of a computer for very long (And do anything OTHER then work !!He he!!) and of course plain laziness.

My life in the last few weeks has been pretty hectic as usual. Work never ends to be anything other then a zoo..crazy hectic angry...for anyone out there who may be considering medicine as a career- I urge you to get a reality check, becoz this industry is full of people with high blood pressure, or developing high blood pressure!! everyone is always overworked and tired and grumpy and not wanting to help you out. when i get up for breakfast in the morning I feel like I really need my nutri grain because I am literally preparing for war. The poeple that fortunately, are oblivious to this chaos are the dear patients in the wards, they dont know that I had to yell( well not yell but speak 'sternly' to!!) at 5 people to make sure they got their medicines becos "we were out of stock" - so you just dont give it then??or let anyone know?? or "the pharmacy was shut" hello thats why we have afterhours people around " she was in the shower" " she had lots of visitors" " he didnt want it" " he refused" ..I am sorry, but none of those excuses means that one can missout on their Intravenous antibiotics or parkinsons drugs etcetcetc because for a sick person in the hospital, they could be dead by the next day!!. Patients dont know that I had to grovel, and got yelled at, in order to get them a CT scan because the radiologists will do everything to get out of having to do more work.. the life of a juinor doc is anything but glamorous or prestigous or as glorified as the innocent bystander often presumes.And frankly, I am getting all abit tired of the politics of medicine..could we not just all work together in a uniform and harmonious ( ? is that a word!) manner to get people better???

sighhhhhhhh..maybe I am just complaining too much- I think I am, and I guess that happens when youre tired. On a good note, after work yesterday my husband and I went to see the laughing samoans who were doing a gig down here. By pure luck I happened to stumble across ticketec when they opened the sales to the show -so managed to grab some tickets before the show sold out. It was GREAT. Exactly the sort of medicine I needed after a crap week of work, I laughed my silly heart out, and clapped and stomped my feet and wiped away tears of joy. What was interesting though was the number of palagis there. There were quite alot of big groups of them, of what I could only presume had to be work mates sponsored by their jobs, there would be 1 pacific island looking person in the group, so I presume that was who got them to go. Anyways, it was really entertaining watching them. Like, there were great stints of the type of "And da morro of da story is,....a chocolate par!!" (i.e moro bars) humour,with roars of laughter from the pacific island audience, where the palagis sort of looked at each other sideways as if to say "I dont get it?"!! I still feel slightly awkward about this, but I actually enjoyed watching them sorta squirm in their seats, feeling a bit out of place-ish. Too often have I been made to feel out of place amongst them ( despite the fact that I am part palagi!) too often have I remained quiet and hummed at their opinions of "the NZ society is not ready for Bro town"...when I actually wanted to say-> not ready my butt, bring bro town on, its the greatest cartoon ever, next to spongebob and simpsons of course!! he he!!

Anyways, the low side of my evening was that I nodded off halfway through the act, only for a minute,it had absolutely nothing to do with the act itself!!I was just soooooo tired after a hectic week. I laughed after cos I couldnt believe I had nodded off either, I had literally just been laughing my butt off , and then Zonk...out for a minute. I think it was in the brief minute that they moved to the back of the stage to change character outfits, cos they turn the lights off briefly so you cant see them doing so. Anyways, I woke up and managed to laugh and stay awake for the rest of the act so that was good.

I am due back home in about 3 weeks and ABSOLUTELY CANT WAIT. I am soo excited I can feel myself just about fall off my seat everytime I think about it. I just need to come home, get a tan, enjoy the weather, hang out with the folks and friends, see my grandma, drive down pot-hole plagued streets, and smell the umu!! I know X100, that my bones are not made for the windy chills of Aotearoa, the sulphur smelling geysers nor the snowcapped mountains and frost covered winsheilds.. I know I will miss white chocolate and blueberry muffins with frappucinos..but seriously, I am not doing myself any favors with those particularly addictive foods!!! So I am currently 'thinkin' about what to pack ( he he!! even though I know I wont actually pack my suitcases til a day before I leave) but its exciting just 'thinking' about it.

so far all you back home, look out for me in a few weeks ok!! and hope everyone has a good week!!!

change of scenary

I have been absent from the blog scene for a while. Just had a change of scenary at work- moving on from the good old renal deparment, to the "whole scarey hospital" department..I am the official reliever so If anyone is sick or on leave- I am the cover ..kinda scarey.. I used to think of relievers as the supermen and wonderwomen of th hospital..cos you are just all over the place. One minute in sugery next minute in ED next minute on the medical ward..etc ( not literally minutes..but everyday a new venue!)

So far it hasnt been too bad. I have had to be the cardiology cover for quite a while cos their docs have been on holiday- forever. I havent worked in cardio before but it has always scared me. Just walking past their ward with their big computerised base- they have this huge monitor/computer/desk monster thing that reminds me of something off star trek or something. Like a spaceship control centre...buttons and beeping and images and nurse-patrol-police who never fail to confront you with "IS YOUR CELLPHONE SWITCHED OFF COS IT INTERFERES WITH THE MONITORS?????" cos they can see the freaken tip of the antenae of my cellpnone peeping outa my bag. LOL!

I can never work out which freaken beep means "RUN TO THAT PATIET HE IS DYING!" and which one means "this patient dropped his nametag"..I mean for freaks sake if you're gonna have any beep at all could it just be the one that counts!! ( keeping things simple for moi poor brains please!!)Slowly over the last few days I have managed to calm my anxiety over the monster machine.(its all about ME versus THE MACHINE) No one has done anything exciting yet-and I have cheerfully been reminding my patients they are not allowed to have heart attacks!!he he!!Always makes for cheerful talk-most are like "I'll try!!lol!"

They have asked me again, for the third time this year ( they being my bosses),to present something to the weekly staff teaching lectures on pacific islanders and /or Samoans ( being the interesting and foreign beings that we are!!) It seems they can never get enough of my tales (Maybe because they are so tall!!) I can never get over how little some people know about samoa/ns despite being a neigbouring pacific country. My shock all started when some kiwi in Otago ( admittedly FROM Otago as well) asked me where I was from, I told him, then he asked where in auckland that was again (Samoa) ..no seriously . Since then I have easily convinced people that we samoan woman walk around in grass skirts and coconut shells for attire ( its too damed hot for cotton) and men wear little loincloths or nothing if they have a pe'a, that we samoan women are so beautiful because we all go down to the beach in the morning and exfoliate our skin with the sand (watch while palagis go 'oooohhhh' and remind themselves to take little bag with them next time they go to beach!) and we still travel by canoe and horseback cos we dont have tarsealed roads....I mean seriously, maybe its the particular type of people I work with, but they lap it all up..like where were they brought up????

Anyways, I am now stuck with trying to drum up another vaguely interesting presentation. I know what most of it will consist of. Statistics that make us look fat and lazy and unhealthy. Then there will be discussions about how we value our food and the wrong types ( whilst I eat my deep fried lunch) and discussions about our culture and what we value.(i.e do we value being big-ger(fat/healthy and wealthy!!) errhhhm..i think we value not-being-hungry) anyways..apparently fascinating stuff for them..kinda broken record player music to me. Anyways..we'll see how it goes.

I am actually really looking foward to this weekend ( its friday today) I have worked 12 days in a row- 72hours in the first week -so I am so looking foward to just kicking off my shoes and relaxing. Maybe actually start on my cardio excercise plan I have been meaning to launch in the last 3 months - we'll see what the weather decides!! Har har- the weather dictates my fitness level- as you can see i have become a whale after winter!LOL! anyways- gotta go so til next time- take care all!!

reversal of roles, and being the patient

You won’t believe this, but I got admitted into hospital on Thursday night!! LOL! My knees had slowly over the week, gotten swollen for whatever reason, I had put myself on high dose antibiotics but they, by Thursday were getting worse. I guess looking back, I wasn’t feeling so good- though didn’t really bother me. I had no appetite and couldn’t get warm, but was like, ok, it’s a cold night and can’t be arsed cooking for myself anyways. Typical Doctor being the worst patient, refusing to believe I was sick until I absolutely couldn’t walk. So I went along to my GPs appointment I had booked day before with angry receptionist (tried to get an earlier time, and she continued to lecture me about people having appointments months in advance...uhm...so when do you, like, see real sick people??)

GP couldn’t figure it out either, it was now looking more like cellulitis, but bilateral and on exact same spots on both knees...she took my temp and I was febrile (woops) 38.0 and my heart was racing (120bpm...! had absolutely no idea) I sorta laughed when she told me...so she rung the hospital, discussed me with the medreg, and he thought I had reached the point now where I would need admission and IVABS to knock whatever it was on the head....ahhhhh

I guess this is my sorta worst nightmare, being admitted into my own hospital. I was very anxious about being boarded on my own ward-that would suck!! But also over knowing all the docs who would see me!!LOL! To be honest everyone was very nice, the one perk of the job is that everyone knows you know the system so they try their best to please you. The second worst thing was that my husband was in Auckland on work training thing, and local cousins just so happened to all be out of town, so no one could go with me.Not exactly your typical samoan patient who brings their troops in with them to hospital!

I came home...packed my little bag of PJs toiletries chocolates and taxi-d myself to A&E. I handed my GP letter in and told the receptionist medreg was expecting me, they all knew I was Staff, and within 5 minutes the medreg actually came out to the waiting area in A&E to chat, he hummed and haaad over my knees and said I would need to come in, and a junior doc was coming to clark me in!!LOL!

The house surgeon clarking me in, was a 1st year that I know very well, poor guy. I basically dictated his admission form for him, told him I had listened to my own heart and lungs and they were fine!LOL! All he had to do were my bloods and IVline. The poor guy didn’t even bother looking round my hands as we normally do, to find a spot for the IV Line, I think he was so nervous he went straight for the juicy antecubital fossa (elbow)!!

Then I begged him not to plonk me in the middle of the demented stroked out crazy patients on the medical ward that I am-oh-so familiar with, (not to come across as being picky but the average age of patients in the med ward is probably 60, at least one person in every 6 bedded cubicle has come from a nursing home and continues to yell out "SUCILLE! SUCILLE COME HERE!" all night long, it ALWAYS smells like poo- reflection of the average patient up there- just not my cup of tea!) but if I could stay in the short stay unit (flash new part of ED just like ward but only short term stayers) and he managed to get me a bed there (yay). He made a mess putting my line in though- blood everywhere!!LOL! And I told him that was 'unacceptable' then gave him a pat on the back to indicate I was just kidding, cos he had broken out into a sweat by then!LOL!

One of my senior work colleagues overheard in ED that I was there and came and found me, ( Of course!) and accompanied me to SSU and even stayed a little while which was embarrassing, but nice. Another was doing nights so she came at 2.30am and visited me! Much to the dislike of my roomie (who shouldn’t have complained anyways cos she was freaken snoring like a horse!!) The Medical team came round in the morning- luckily no one I had worked for, and theorized about what could be causing the swelling, who knows...trying to explain the bilateral thing, which is unusual for an infection type process, main thing was that they were starting to get better!!

By the morning some improvement of the knees, my work team decided to visit me as part of their ward round, with flowers! I was so embarrassed!! The med consultant decided I needed another 48hours of IVABs at least ( AAAAAHHHH- this meant I was going up to the medical ward) but after liaison with me i.e. I am a doc can look after myself, can do my own temps, didnt need to occupy a much needed bed bla bla, they decided I could go home with Home IV antibiotic therapy with the district nurses!!!(YAY) I have to go back tomorrow for the ward round and expose myself to them again.

But should be ok to go onto oral antibiotics by then. I checked out my own bloods and was surprised to see my inflammatory markers all raised!! ( sign of body fighting serious infection/inflammation!) My poor body had been struggling to fight whatever was going on in my knees, and I was too stubborn to notice- the numbers confirmed things!!But good to see my Haemaglobin was normal at 120- reassured myself I am eating enough red meat and my creatinine was normal, so kidneys ticking along nicely!.

I did the docs a favor the next day and typed my own discharge, charted up my own home IV drug chart, consented myself to home IVABs (LOL- I got them to cosign it when they came down-bet they were thinking ka'i fiapotorings!)Just to speed the process of me getting out of there along, all the doc had to do was resite my IV cos having it in my left arm was a butthole- every time I moved the arm it hurt, so I had to keep it rigid straight-ALL NIGHT, can you imagine sleeping like that?? So they put it in my right hand, I asked for local anaesthetic this time cos I am a baby, and it hurt the first time without- since having it with local I don’t know which is worse- I have always known local stings, but guys it stung like a b@*%$!!!!Now I regret all the times I have offered people local with IVs and thought I was doing them a favor!!LOL!

I almost cried- just from the local!!! Luckily my husband had flown down from auckland by then so he held my hand and distracted me!!anyways, now I am at home, trying awkwardly to be normal with this annoying lure sticking out my right arm, which never fails to remind me its there, when I absent mindedly swing round and knock it on something.My husband is treating me very preciously cos I am three limbs out- he has knocked both my painful knees and my right IVlured arm at least once so far, and for that he went and bought me a cappuccino from a cafe of my choice, and brought breakfast back with him!HEHE!! the District nurses have come twice and they are all very nice and I think a bit nervous re; me being a doc, I think they sterilized everything to death in prep of just giving me antibiotic push!LOL!

all in all guys, a very weird experience being not just a patient, but a patient to people I know- did I tell you the docs asked ME what Antibiotics they should put me on and asked ME if I wanted IVFluids in light of my racing heart and febrile-ness (i.e maybe I was dehydrated!- I politley declined and agreed to down a litre of water, some ice-pops and coke!!)LOL!!! I think I was a good patient and only rung my bell once overnight for panadol cos I woke with a splitting headache-which I swear was from the IVABs LOL!!

Feeling a bit embarrassed still cos you know, I am not that sick!( she keeps telling herself) !! Feeling great about getting 2 days off work!!(yay)anyways, I am sure I will be onto oral tablets tomorrow- and above is a photo of my IV line !!Yay! The only person that made a mistake in this whole experience was the medical receptionist who decided to hyphen my two last names together - despite me telling them I had changed it completely to my married name, not only that but she made me a Mr. instead of a Mrs!!! Just my luck with medical receptionists huh!! Anyways, that’s what I was up to last few days...very excoooooiiiting aye!!LOL! Hope none of yous ever have to go thru anything similar!LOL! gonna go veg out and watch a movie now..Take care guys and have a great weekend!!

My Weekend!!

Just thought I would let you know how my weekend went.

By last friday I was abbbbsolutely shattered. For some reason our 4pm handovers at work seemed to drag onto 5pm then 5.30pm..and on friday 6pm....so I was pretty pooped by the time it got to friday. On a high note, My lil Sis came down from auckland on thrusday to catch up with her friend that just had a baby ( one more thing to make me feel old and infertile he he!!) so it was nice having little pestering relative ( and female to add to that!!) in the house- unfortunately Friday night was big "student catch up, bounce around all of clubs in wellington, dance on tables, kiss up to bouncers and sneak into mermainds night club" for her...and as much as I wanted to re-live my youth, the granny in me found me slumped infront of the telly, eating KFC with the boys, watching that program with Seals wife who is the skinniest and prettiest most depressing, pregnant woman I have ever seen!! on friday night.

Saturday morning I woke up with the maddest headache, at first I thought it was "coffee withdrawal" cos I woke at 9am and usually by then I would have had 2 coffees at work. So I had some coffee...but it didnt go away. despite that, I didnt want to waste saturday nursing a headache in the dark, so agreed to be dragged to town by lil sis ( knowing her motive was to spend my money on her...which is what happened!!)

Not long after we left home, developed worst abdo cramps ever, put it down to KFC chicken...bastards probably didnt cook chicken well enough (mental note to go back and ask for voucher for free chicken he he!!! ) luckily have loose bowel motions that are not frequent so manage to survive away from toilets for hours at a time ( LOL- I know you dont want to know about my bowels!!). Bought some new shoes (sketchers- in anticipation of summer- bit eager eh!!) and a new pair of PJs from big sale at oversease terminal .Spent more money on bras and panties for lil sis though. Really wanted to watch lakehouse cos I heard its romantic and 'may' make you shed a tear (in need of some emotional carressing !!LOL)- end up watching miami vice instead ( bastard husbands doing!!)

Sunday morning- wake up, still have sore tummy, try to go to toilet but no luck, bowels not ready to do anything just yet. Wake up yet again with headache, except now also notice ugly cold sore re-appearing, and headache confined to distribution of right upper trigeminal nerve!! over course of morning convince myself headache is burning in nature and must be shingles ( when coldsore virus travels up nerve into other nerves!!ahhhhh!!!) just about eat coldsore cream in attempt to give myself sufficient dose of acyclovir- mission succesful as pain subsides later- may possibly be improved with panadol and voltaren I took as well- will never know. So, still feeling like shit- but husband drags me outa bed and takes me to breaky at nice cafe- have eggs benny and cappucino, beautiful weather, decide to take a drive. End up in town, at the movies again. Want to watch lakehouse, end up watching 'click' with Adam Sandler.

Draggin feet into movie theatre cos upset that yet again we dont watch movie I wanted to watch,(yes like a little kid refused candy!!LOL) not speaking to husband. Movie was great, I cried twice!!LOL! cant believe Adam Sandler made me cry ( movie is quite depressing at times) apologise to husband about being a sook at the beginning, as feel emotionally 'caressed' by movie- he is like "yea!"..lol. walk around the mall, had a smoothie, realise I am dressed like crap- wearing trackpants t-shirt and old hoodie, as when left house for breaky- not expecting to end up in readings! Become self concious, but husband tells me I am beautiful and realise 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and if the beholder is impressed then thats as far as I feel I need to go today in terms of impressing people!!!

So all in all,to sum up my weekend, despite feeling like crap and developing gastroenteritis and shingles, I bought new shoes and PJs, enjoyed the sun, watched 2 movies one of which did some emotional caressing ( Har har!!), and had nice breaky at a cafe!! So successful weekend looking back- took agges to decide whether to come into work today- still have abdo cramps, though not explosive diaorhea just yet, still have headaches but ok with voltaren and panadol- always feel that if I am not ready to die, that I should go to work, cos cant imagine anyone in team knowing how to do my job!!LOL!! so end up here at work..infront of computer..delibrately having a quiet one...hope yous all had good weekends!!!