adjustment disorder...

Yes, I remember this word being used back in my "Dunners" days of Academia (Dunedin).I remember being introduced to this word when it was used to describe a 'mental' disorder of foreigners (Pacific islanders) who moved over to aotearoa and just didn't get it.Didn't get the food and the cold and the hard work to send money back to the islands and all the damned paperwork needed to just about do anything other then sit on a toilet... Didn't get the swing of things and slowly slid off into depression...well I think this is what I have for fleeting moments everyday...bush adjustment disorder I suppose I would call it ha ha!

On some days, or...for some moments on some days, I really dont mind the bush- and having to 'adjust'...there's no harm done, life here is pretty tranquil and merry ( I suppose if you looked at the little box I live in) and people are just going about their merry way of living in the bush - it is what it is, which might not be what I am used to or would prefer but I deal with it and its fine and dandy. But other days, things get to me, like not having any other people with a similar conversation agenda/background/humor etc..other then my husband and his dear relatives (brother and father mostly, if I'm lucky) to dialogue with (talk about lack of Oestrogen!!) no cinemas or cafes to hang out at or gyms to go manic over going or not going to,even just having relies who I could 'drive over' to see and share a cuppa coffee (or baileys) with on an afternoon or two...and then there a moments where people 'say' things that make me feel all the more like an outsider and not only that...like I'm a snob and not WANTING to become part of the big bad bush...

Like this particular question Ive been asked a time or two- someone asked me why "I dont take my kids into the village" more..to play with the village kids...I suppose my hubby and his siblings have fond memories of hanging out with all their friends in the village growing up - dirty as rag dolls running through the ma'umaga getting stung by bees and chased by wild boars (well, maybe not wild boars but you get my drift)etc....thing is, they forget that back in those days, they had like 10 uncles and aunties and their 50 other cousins who also grew up with them here, also hung out in the so called village, so it was more like a few other village kids hung out with their herd of family kids...for me, its totally different..I am the only offspring - or should i said married to da offspring, with kids here from our family..there are no cousins or aunties or uncles with kids hanging around-there's NO ONE here..everyones up and left and is living it up overseas somewhere while me and da hubby are the one couple residing here with kids..its really just me...so to venture out to hang out with...who again?? who exactly am I meant to take my kids to hang out with???

Up to now, the only village women I know of names are my babysitter and da business employees...thats it..hmmm...to make matters worse, my hubby's sisters, bless their souls, have instilled a ruthless fear and over-protection in me by pointing out families living around us where "that guy flashed me his willy when I was 10"....so uh, exactly how can one expect that I'm going to be setting my kids free in this village again??Its not all sunshine and laughter in paradise here you know.. uhhh...nah...sorry. If that counts me in as a snob well its kids first I say...and if that means that they may never venture past our grounds gates and be free with the village...sorry if that offends you..when my kids go to my own family compound in Apia, where they have 10,000 cousins and aunties and unlces loooking out for them...they can run free and join in the merry fun....but yea...that about sums that chapter up ...but you think I could explain ALL THAT to the jolly soul who asks me "why" I dont take my kids to hang out with the village kids....its not really a fair question when I dont really 'know' anyone here..and expecting that I will walk out into someones yard and be like "hi, my name is..." well, not gonna happen because thats just not in my nature...and if the conversation has to be in Samoan, well then-even more reason it aint gonna happen because its gonna come out all papagu and I'd just make a fool of myself, feel embarrassed and leave...

ANYWAYS...to cope with adjustment disorder in the village I just- 1) avoid village consultations, bless my childrens' babysitters soul for taking all my mafutaga o tina's contributions for me 2) keep busy with work, and sane by perusing the internet facebook work of blogs every once in a while 3) when its just all gotten a bit much, hop on da ferry and GO to da big city- AKA Apia...

besides, its probably better that I come across as an outsider as sometimes I worry if I got too close to people they would all just start asking me for small loans...

so theres a story for you, a particular lady from a nearby dwelling, whose relative has worked for us for many years, shows up on my doorstep one morning, asking very politely if she can burrow $50tala for an urgent matter, that she would have back in my hand the next day as her brother was sending her money from NZ but it would take a day to get here, whereas she needed the $$ now...and because of the trust I have with her relative, in good faith I leant her the cash. did it come back? No...did it go to anything useful? I later find out NO it didn't...despite hearing as well that this lady parades all 5 different bingos a week at nearby villages religiously and is obviously not short of cash...I never saw my $50 which REALLY p'd me off...she does not have a phone nor is her dwelling on the way anywhere so contacting her for repayment was a little out of the way and I just couldnt be arsed, the witch shuold have kept her promise...anyways, no amounts of threatening her relatives and friends made her do anything more then go "oops" when asked about this...to make matters worse, I started avoiding buying koko-samoa from her kids who frequently come down to our business to sellem, along with many other families kids too, and she then got other relies kids to parade her ware as someone elses so that I would purchase it!!(I caught the kids red-handed doing this- lying to me about whose koko they had!!!) ...i feel like im being screwed by the damned village at times!! lol!I guess these things are all learning curves and Ill get better at spotting when Im being screwed with in the future haha!!...