Dearest Dad

My earliest memories of you are the best.
You used to walk me around the garden,
In the evening as the sun was setting,
And pointed out spider webs.
All busy spinning, preparing for the night,
You taught us that these tiny creatures, created something beautiful and need no fright.
I watched you prune our roses, and airlayer our tempermental trees.
You loved to talk about ,plants the birds and the bees.
You loved to read books –your favorite science fiction.
you also watched cartoons ...an inherited addiction

You enjoyed the company of ur friends...love and laughter you never lacked...people of all walks of life ...u never were siu to shout a beer and pat their backs
Long after you left Samoa...people would still ask if Kevin was my dad
The random taxi driver or shop keepr
Would eagerly tell stories of outings you and them had had
You loved your motorcycles...
And have had a few accidents as well.
We brought ur bike back from nz...Anton beefed ut up and you were very proud.

Somewhere in our childhood.
You and mum could no longer exist,
You went separate ways, and there were some hard days…but we new it was for the best.
Dad you were aways so hard to figure out. There was so much history of you and your family
we felt a bit left out,
because you could never speak, of you father or your childhood.
Like it was such a painful memory..that could never be understood.
You were a slave to your drink. You would never admit it. But we could always see it
Alcohol use disorder –you met all the criteria…
Dad, You had all the signs- you did. But You did not want to hear it. And you would never admit it.
It did not make you an evil person, it did not mean you loved us less….it just meant that you had terrible mood swings like 10 women with PMS.
I used to describe you jokingly, as dr jekyl mr hyde
There was a before alcohol you, who was decent and withstanding
And there was the after…a complete extreme makeover..who was sarcastic and moody and overly emotional…like I said PMS…. I always wished you'd be less, of hyde and more of Jekyll

Having you as a father has been a roller coaster. Of trying to understand and accept.
That not all families are picture perfect .
That we all , are only human. That everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
That despite everything, what was important, was that you loved us all so much and never ever failed telling us…to the point where it could be an earsore…
but how lucky were we, to have a parent who unconditionally, showered us with praise and love- … never discouraged us from the man above,
Told us to do all that we wanted and all that we could.
All that was important and all that we should
Always told us you were proud… you boasted we were your kids aloud
For not always being a present parent you were always saying you were sorry,
But we only ever wanted you to be happy and not to worry.


Your last few months have not been easy…you’ve always been so tough
Watching your decline in health, has been heartbreaking for all of us
But you battled your illness like a solder. Most drs and nurses would often say.
How little you seemed to suffer, in all the usual ways.
You didn’t lose your hair after chemo…you trimmed down to a younger looking weight,
you got a tan…new teeth…you looked really great
IT was just this last month, when things were quite rough. You tried you best to hold on,
To the you that was you, determined and headstrong.

Your pain threshold was very high, and you were always concerned about imposing on others,
even when it was at your own cost of suffering.you didn’t want to be a bother
That was always been you dad…a beacon of strength no matter what.
You never cried, you never lied, you always made up your own mind,
You were always fearless, you looked after your family, you were tireless
, you lived life,, you gave it your all..up until mother nature took its toll

And even that…you battled ,headstrong, eyes closed, fists clenched…..determined not to let her take the best of you
Dad…you may not know it…you may not think it…but there is so much of you in me, in us…
From you we got our confidence, you were always our walking encyclopedia
You corrected our English and our grammar, and sometimes our teachers
from you I am fearless. From that day you dropped me off at school,
on the back of your motorcycle- looking Pretty cool
much to the astonishment of my teachers who had thought my parents were some bookworms
and not part of a motorcycle gang. and you told me that if any teacher dare hit me…
to come straight away and tell you and you would make them regret it ….
I was an 8 yr old silently fearless…because you were our hero…and nothing scared us.

As you leave us dad for your final malaga , I want you to know, that your life was well lived, you celebrated it in your journey, you loved you laughed, you shouted you cried . you were lucky enough to get married twice and have a handful of children and friends and acquaintances who all love you. You leave behind pieces of you in us. I want to thank you dad, for everything you have taught us, instilled in us, imparted for us…for without you…we would not be, the people we are today.

Manuia lou malaga Dad, and as I have always said to those who have left us before, this is not goodbye…it is just a see you later.