Its a new year, and for a moment on the 31st of December I tried to work out some resolutions. eat better, exercise, spend more time with bubba, and hubba, figure out what the hell I want to do with my life...kinda big resolutions huh, recycled ones too. But now well into January...I still don't know how to go about tackling some of those big questions in my life.
I recently read a friends blog, where she asks- why are we here?(in Samoa- Apia to be specific) where are we going? and questions along those lines, you know, those long philosophical ones that can only have long philosophical answers. I'm tired of asking the same questions every year...truth is. I don't want to work anymore, but i feel so gut wrenchingly obliged to do so, and so overwhelming bad when i dont, that its a vicious cycle, when i dont work, i have this annoying cloud hanging over my head raining the same moral melancholic song on me- not enough people there, and you're sitting at home with your legs up (but i can not remember the last time i sat down with my legs up...its my life, am i not entitled to chose??) when i do, i grow so frustrated of it at times i feel like tearing my hair out and biting my limbs off, that's how crazy i get.Can not be healthy for me.
My husband says "alu fua study ga mea'' in a joking way, as if i brought it all on myself (I did- I just didn't know it) when he says that (even if it is in a joking way) to me, even he feels I should be there, at work, even if its for peanuts and the pay is late and is giving me a splitting headache and high blood pressure. But I do 'like' my job, i think in a better environment , I would even love it. But loving it over here, in Savaii...is oh so many decades away, for I know that the changes needed there, are many and the pace of change here is slower then that of a snails'...People are so damned reluctant to change.."this is the way its been for years, and its fine'' is what they all think but don't say.
You just have to look at peoples faces, when you are making suggestions with excitement on how to improve things, its like, one eyebrow raised, eyes still fixed on that piece of paper they were reading before, its like they hear you but don't want to hear you, but you know that's what they are thinking. Its like in order to change, someone who sits on their big behind all day scribbling on paper (yes, I acknowledge it may be ALOT of paper) in an aircon office, has to get up and do a bit of running around. Oh lord have mercy.Its as if I had just asked someone to go run a Marathon or something (might actually do them some good, change from sitting in the office growing sideways all year....) so my suggestions often fall on deaf ears.
So what am I going to do?am I going to give up...and just be a stay at home mum? bar the bakery on the side and the waitressing in the restaurant with the hubba (sounds like true bliss to me, no huge worrying decisions to make regarding peoples lives!!)eh, I dunno..maybe. Gonna give a few more tactics of change a go...see what happens.Read an article in the observer today by a disgruntled patient...never easy to hear the criticism but it was all true and I take off my hat to them for voicing their opinion...more people need to do it I reckon.
as for me now, gonna go kick it with the baby, spend some quality time and not have to think about these big decisions...
Monday, January 19, 2009
Sunday, December 07, 2008
a lazy sunday afternoon
Its Sunday afternoon ...already. just a moment ago, before I yawned, it was Thursday and I was waiting effortfully for the weekend to arrive. And now its been and gone, and i dont feel rejuvinated whatsoever.arrg. I suppose this is the plight of mothers all around the world, constant lack of sleep, and hoping to catch some much needed cat-nips here are there never summount to enough of anything to relieve me of this constant yawning syndrome.
Its raining, and its bloomin cold. I have a thermometer and it reads 25, but I swear its 18...if it were any colder I am sure I could see my breadth mist and relive a moment from good old wellington or dunedin even!!
where did me weekend go? standing by at the resturaunt, while the chef goes to a fogo. dont worry, just call me (on one of 2 mobiles..digicel or go mobile of course) if anyone shows. someone did, called, switched off, dead. so I decided to don the chefs apron, with the help of my nervous wreck of a worker who has some phobia of meeting strangers..and yet has been working at a hotel for the last 10 years almost...I cooked. almost blew a fuse because, two people wanted eggs and there were only 3 left -grrrr(so 1.5 each???) thats because we had omeletts for dinner last night, so omelette times 4 men and me = no more eggs in the resturaunt. had to improvise and made them scrambled with alot of milk (dont worry all ye customers out there reading this, this will NEVER happen again i promise) then they wanted sausages and there were NO SUASAGES..shit. so gave them ham instead...they were pleased. but. where were all the sausages?? "we finished them all with that big order we did for who a who...remember''...yes darlin, that was exactly 7 days ago. 200m down the road is a shop that sells sausages...RESTOCK..eh. this is why the kitchen in all those hells kitchen shows are 80degrees and everyone is yelling. i dont usually work here but i wanted to yell, but didnt really want to yell at our nervous wreck of a worker incase she died of shock- and then i would not only have to cook, but serve as well. In her defence she doesnt usually have to wait on the customers, but our usual waitress up and left of indefinite maternity leave. just the day before and we have yet to find a substitute.
work.has been much the same. The sermon today was great at church. was about the church as a hospital for those with 'illnesses' or the spirit etc, but he also touched on the attitude of patients at the local hospital, and how everyone gets angry at the doc for showing up a 9am (when they all arrived on the 6am bus of their own accord) despite knowing the doc has to do rounds first, and the fact that if its a young doc, people feel they have the right to abuse (verbally) to vent their anger at the doc. Im the only young doc at the hospital and that is certainly me. luckily, unlike the doc in the sermon that gets frustrated at the patients and takes the day off abandoning them ( i would love to do that) i have mastered the 'walk the death plank' walk through the patients to get to the clinic door, with my 'eyes fixed firmly on a spot on the door and 200miles per hour walk' that sees me jet from the corridor to the clinic with only so much as a 'eh' being heard....yay. on a bad day, i.e if its wet and i cant master the 200mlPH pace, i hear all the 'magaia a guku a le foma'i lea e...., & fiu se e faakali...and 'la'a kuu a makou e vaai e inkia...' dang it, spoils my day.BUT OH WELL. i should get a shirt made with "the more you complain, the shorter i plan to work at this hospital'- then you can keep seeing your inkias (who are good by the way) whose only fault is the extent of their explanations due to language barriers means all you get is 'inu vai lea, tolu aso, fa' and not my dramatic drawings of what your liver and gallbladder look like and how blood gets circulated and how clots and strokes develop, and short tutorials on how to take your inhalers properly and what the signs of a heart attack are. yes. i love my work sometimes, but not the part where people throw dirt at my for their own impatience.
thats about all. gonna go try to enjoy the rest of my sunday:)
Its raining, and its bloomin cold. I have a thermometer and it reads 25, but I swear its 18...if it were any colder I am sure I could see my breadth mist and relive a moment from good old wellington or dunedin even!!
where did me weekend go? standing by at the resturaunt, while the chef goes to a fogo. dont worry, just call me (on one of 2 mobiles..digicel or go mobile of course) if anyone shows. someone did, called, switched off, dead. so I decided to don the chefs apron, with the help of my nervous wreck of a worker who has some phobia of meeting strangers..and yet has been working at a hotel for the last 10 years almost...I cooked. almost blew a fuse because, two people wanted eggs and there were only 3 left -grrrr(so 1.5 each???) thats because we had omeletts for dinner last night, so omelette times 4 men and me = no more eggs in the resturaunt. had to improvise and made them scrambled with alot of milk (dont worry all ye customers out there reading this, this will NEVER happen again i promise) then they wanted sausages and there were NO SUASAGES..shit. so gave them ham instead...they were pleased. but. where were all the sausages?? "we finished them all with that big order we did for who a who...remember''...yes darlin, that was exactly 7 days ago. 200m down the road is a shop that sells sausages...RESTOCK..eh. this is why the kitchen in all those hells kitchen shows are 80degrees and everyone is yelling. i dont usually work here but i wanted to yell, but didnt really want to yell at our nervous wreck of a worker incase she died of shock- and then i would not only have to cook, but serve as well. In her defence she doesnt usually have to wait on the customers, but our usual waitress up and left of indefinite maternity leave. just the day before and we have yet to find a substitute.
work.has been much the same. The sermon today was great at church. was about the church as a hospital for those with 'illnesses' or the spirit etc, but he also touched on the attitude of patients at the local hospital, and how everyone gets angry at the doc for showing up a 9am (when they all arrived on the 6am bus of their own accord) despite knowing the doc has to do rounds first, and the fact that if its a young doc, people feel they have the right to abuse (verbally) to vent their anger at the doc. Im the only young doc at the hospital and that is certainly me. luckily, unlike the doc in the sermon that gets frustrated at the patients and takes the day off abandoning them ( i would love to do that) i have mastered the 'walk the death plank' walk through the patients to get to the clinic door, with my 'eyes fixed firmly on a spot on the door and 200miles per hour walk' that sees me jet from the corridor to the clinic with only so much as a 'eh' being heard....yay. on a bad day, i.e if its wet and i cant master the 200mlPH pace, i hear all the 'magaia a guku a le foma'i lea e...., & fiu se e faakali...and 'la'a kuu a makou e vaai e inkia...' dang it, spoils my day.BUT OH WELL. i should get a shirt made with "the more you complain, the shorter i plan to work at this hospital'- then you can keep seeing your inkias (who are good by the way) whose only fault is the extent of their explanations due to language barriers means all you get is 'inu vai lea, tolu aso, fa' and not my dramatic drawings of what your liver and gallbladder look like and how blood gets circulated and how clots and strokes develop, and short tutorials on how to take your inhalers properly and what the signs of a heart attack are. yes. i love my work sometimes, but not the part where people throw dirt at my for their own impatience.
thats about all. gonna go try to enjoy the rest of my sunday:)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
overdue ramblings
A good friend of mine wrote recently that she has a dozen unfinished drafts of blogs yet to be posted. I find I am in the same boat, with an 11monther under my belt, have just had no time to edit clean and post half a dozen episodes of drama, disaster and just the usual everyday Savaii Banter! So here are snippets of a few.
4 days of freedom??
Last week the hubby and I decided to take the little one (and ourselves YAY!) over to Apia to visit the folks (my family yay!!) after I cant even remember now, how many months. EXCITEMENT set in!! of course, so many things I needed (?wanted to do) such as- get a hair cut and colour, maybe even a facial massage, buy some overdue new clothes/bras/knickers/cutlery/nice vegetables including pepper/capsicum/avocadoes/and even ripe banana…cause the folks down at salelologa market just don’t seem interested in selling those things (yes, even ripe bananas..Oh and niu!!) I guess most people here are within a few meters of banana trees so if you want to eat a ripe one just go look for an older aufa’I and not actually expect to buy one.
Yes, also need some new cutlery/ toys for Adria some seasoning for cooking some DVDs some stationary and the list goes on. Need to catch up with a million friends go to the movies/restaurants/cafés and all those fancy things that the lucky city dwellers get to do (that I adored doing!!).
Alas the weekend came, and like a Samoan at a buffet table, I think my eyes were bigger then my stomach cos I didn’t even do half the things I wanted. I managed to do a little shopping (cutlery/bras) caught up with 2 friends- who were all long overdue happy hour at the millennia, we all got a bit toasted on a mere 3 glasses of assorted drinks (baileys pinacolada and midori)- shows how long its been, what a shame!! Tried to get the hubby to do some shopping, but on one of our days there he just slept ALL day (because he went to the airport and drinking the night before) grrr…although I managed to leave baby with him for a few hours and went visiting my relies! Yay! now I’m back in Savaii, regretting that I've still got the same boring as eyesore of a wardrobe …so uninvitingly beckoning me to sift through and mix and match the same 4 tops 3 skirts and 6 pants/shorts to work/home etc etc etc.no new veges no café try outs or restaurant reviews no new movies conquered (and I used to be such a cinema junkie…all the latest movies!) the same mangoes from under the old mango tree…now convincing myself to just buy a whole unripe aufa’I from the market and string it up and faapula it just to appease my appetite. eh, don’t know when we are going to be quiet enough with home/work to make it over again…to top it off someone said to go to a certain little ‘guest fale’ restaurant cos they do food like sunrise (yay) and yea, whatever, go in last night and they have falai I’a and se-a and rice on the menu. And when I ask about the sunrise-like food (sweet n sour egg fu young etc ) they made such a big deal of it- they meaning the girl at the restaurant, the owners son who I was referred to, the owner who I eventually got sent up to the office to see to discuss my ‘makaupu’with! It’s like goddamit I just want some takeaway sweet-sour and eggfuyong like someone told me you serve last week. In the end they made it, made me come back in a hour- a take away plate with servings half the size of sunrise, of egg fu yong, sweet n sour 1 small drumstick a piece of taro and coleslaw for $25!!Hmmm…it didn’t taste that bad though so I guess Ill give em that! Dont think I'm going back though….
Work
Is a b_$#@!some days so much so that I wish everyone got exposed to a gas that made us speak freely, speak our minds and only speak the truth!!Lies, people here lie so much is gets a bit draining at times. Not everyone so ill try not to make it a generalisation, but a lot of people. People with boils the size of their own heads saying “it just popped up yesterday!” BS, kids so dehydrated from weeks of illness at the fofo- who “afukua Ma’I a ananafi” yea whatever. Babies with skin sepsis, sores and scars and boils all over that mums apparently “just noticed last night” It just makes me want to rip my hair out because occasionally, this information is actually useful for me, to try to figure out what kind of bug you have, and how to treat it. But everyone is so paranoid that they’ll look like they have neglected their kids themselves their older parents (which is EXACTLY what they were doing they just don’t want to admit to it and always want to appear as if they are saints) they lie through their teeth again and again it makes me want to stand outside and yell “SINNERS you are ALL SINNERS!” yes, and then everyone will think I am crazy. But that’s ok. If it means less people come to me, that’s ok, because it doesn’t please me to have to see 100 people a day. 50 would be better.
4 days of freedom??
Last week the hubby and I decided to take the little one (and ourselves YAY!) over to Apia to visit the folks (my family yay!!) after I cant even remember now, how many months. EXCITEMENT set in!! of course, so many things I needed (?wanted to do) such as- get a hair cut and colour, maybe even a facial massage, buy some overdue new clothes/bras/knickers/cutlery/nice vegetables including pepper/capsicum/avocadoes/and even ripe banana…cause the folks down at salelologa market just don’t seem interested in selling those things (yes, even ripe bananas..Oh and niu!!) I guess most people here are within a few meters of banana trees so if you want to eat a ripe one just go look for an older aufa’I and not actually expect to buy one.
Yes, also need some new cutlery/ toys for Adria some seasoning for cooking some DVDs some stationary and the list goes on. Need to catch up with a million friends go to the movies/restaurants/cafés and all those fancy things that the lucky city dwellers get to do (that I adored doing!!).
Alas the weekend came, and like a Samoan at a buffet table, I think my eyes were bigger then my stomach cos I didn’t even do half the things I wanted. I managed to do a little shopping (cutlery/bras) caught up with 2 friends- who were all long overdue happy hour at the millennia, we all got a bit toasted on a mere 3 glasses of assorted drinks (baileys pinacolada and midori)- shows how long its been, what a shame!! Tried to get the hubby to do some shopping, but on one of our days there he just slept ALL day (because he went to the airport and drinking the night before) grrr…although I managed to leave baby with him for a few hours and went visiting my relies! Yay! now I’m back in Savaii, regretting that I've still got the same boring as eyesore of a wardrobe …so uninvitingly beckoning me to sift through and mix and match the same 4 tops 3 skirts and 6 pants/shorts to work/home etc etc etc.no new veges no café try outs or restaurant reviews no new movies conquered (and I used to be such a cinema junkie…all the latest movies!) the same mangoes from under the old mango tree…now convincing myself to just buy a whole unripe aufa’I from the market and string it up and faapula it just to appease my appetite. eh, don’t know when we are going to be quiet enough with home/work to make it over again…to top it off someone said to go to a certain little ‘guest fale’ restaurant cos they do food like sunrise (yay) and yea, whatever, go in last night and they have falai I’a and se-a and rice on the menu. And when I ask about the sunrise-like food (sweet n sour egg fu young etc ) they made such a big deal of it- they meaning the girl at the restaurant, the owners son who I was referred to, the owner who I eventually got sent up to the office to see to discuss my ‘makaupu’with! It’s like goddamit I just want some takeaway sweet-sour and eggfuyong like someone told me you serve last week. In the end they made it, made me come back in a hour- a take away plate with servings half the size of sunrise, of egg fu yong, sweet n sour 1 small drumstick a piece of taro and coleslaw for $25!!Hmmm…it didn’t taste that bad though so I guess Ill give em that! Dont think I'm going back though….
Work
Is a b_$#@!some days so much so that I wish everyone got exposed to a gas that made us speak freely, speak our minds and only speak the truth!!Lies, people here lie so much is gets a bit draining at times. Not everyone so ill try not to make it a generalisation, but a lot of people. People with boils the size of their own heads saying “it just popped up yesterday!” BS, kids so dehydrated from weeks of illness at the fofo- who “afukua Ma’I a ananafi” yea whatever. Babies with skin sepsis, sores and scars and boils all over that mums apparently “just noticed last night” It just makes me want to rip my hair out because occasionally, this information is actually useful for me, to try to figure out what kind of bug you have, and how to treat it. But everyone is so paranoid that they’ll look like they have neglected their kids themselves their older parents (which is EXACTLY what they were doing they just don’t want to admit to it and always want to appear as if they are saints) they lie through their teeth again and again it makes me want to stand outside and yell “SINNERS you are ALL SINNERS!” yes, and then everyone will think I am crazy. But that’s ok. If it means less people come to me, that’s ok, because it doesn’t please me to have to see 100 people a day. 50 would be better.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
you can take a solofanua to the water, but you cant make it drink...
Today I fought with a priest. Not physically but well lets just say ‘exchanged words’, me and his relatives. I kicked myself for not having improved my Samoan after all these years, I can speak the basic lingo but I know that when it comes to being polite I can be far from it at times…knowing only to say “se’i tulou” before I mention sh*t poos wees and vomit…
And to think, me and a priest. I think I can be excused but a priest?hmm..Not so sure.
I knew when I restarted work that I would come into contact with the same frustrations I fought in Upolu. It’s not the place but the people. The same, occasionally, (not everyone) ill informed overly superstitious and ignorant (and excuse me but basically stupid) persons….in charge of small sick children who cannot look after themselves and are at the mercy of idiots. I cried on our round today, not once or twice but maybe a good 5 times I had to walk out and go to the bathroom. I’m not sure if it was the anger, anger that these people just didn’t seem to “get” what I was explaining, warning and begging them to beware of, or the sadness I had for the child at the mercy of these morons. At the centre of this scandal is a 4yr old boy. He’s been sick likely a full two weeks at home. He has the clear picture of typhoid sepsis; typhoid at most rears its ugly head as a brief stint of stomach ailments and fevers, but at its worse can ravage ones body to the point of dehydration, inflamed bowels, bleeding, and shock. This kid was rushed into ED at that point. He probably had a good 2 cups of fluid left in his body, had profuse uncontrollable diarrhoea, was just lying there oblivious to anyone groaning in pain esp. if anyone got anywhere near his tummy, had a glazed look over his eyes, that look of impending death. We had to quickly get some fluid into him and then started our treatment for him.
It was soon discovered that he had been quite unwell for a good week at home at the mercy of a fofo, being fed all sorts of rubbish (well…all the traditional remedies, some of which are probably ok for fever and mild viral infections but not for major illnesses) likely forced down his throat as he could not even eat or swallow anything of his own accord. I explained to the family our likely diagnosis and then need for careful but rigorous treatment which in his case would be for no less then 14 days. After only a day and a bit in hosp, the family are wanting to take him home. His dehydration is corrected but the kid is still very sick, unable to eat or drink, walk or talk is still delirious - we were contemplating sending him over to Apia for close monitoring and further treatment there. The reason they want to take him??? Nobody can (be bothered to) stay and look after him in hosp. The father (the priest) was busy with church/village activities, the mother has other children and commitments at home, the grandmother (who is actually at the root of all evil in this case) has to go to NZ for something in 2 days so has to go prepare blab la. On informing them that the kid is still critically ill the grandmother starts huffing and puffing and going on about him not being any better, he was better off at home (were he was literally dying of dehydration) in the background there are murmurs of taking him back to a fofo. Bla bla. I begged the father to put his son first, above all his other commitments and duties (if I could say what I was actually thinking in my head it would be along the lines of “are you f*#n crazy? Your son is dying and you want to go prepare for Sunday mass??”) I told him his village could wait they would understand his child is critically unwell, I begged the stupid grandmother who was insistent he was ‘better of at home and its not typhoid it’s some Samoan disease affecting his throat’. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to get lost cos I could see the father actually wanted to the kid to stay but was being pressured by this crazy woman (his mother in law).
To cut a long story short I lost the battle, no amount of tears -:to give us one more day to try to get him at least well enough to drink (I mean what the hell are they going to do at home if he cant drink?? They’re going to choke him with some moronic concoction because he is too delirious to swallow that’s what) no amount of begging, no amount of threatening (along the lines of “it’ll be on your head if your kid dies, not at the will of god cause god has taught us how to cure this and you are making the decision to not let us carry this out…not god”) no amount of quiet encouragement and pleading could change their minds. They just stared at me blankly as if not a word I said registered, and then asked for the self discharge form to sign. It’s so true that saying you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. No amount of persuasion, pleading begging and beating could make this horse drink. And it just tore me up inside. Why the hell did the even bring the kid to hospital for?? It’s like oh we’ll give this a go and now they’ve decided they can’t be bothered or aren’t patient enough to await the desired result (cure) and have made a really ill informed decision.
I cried today because I hurt for the child who suffers. Because he has no voice. No voice to say no, lets not do that, I want to live. I cried because they wouldn’t listen to me. Most times in my profession you say something, and people listen. Most people here know very little about anatomy and disease, so giving them knowledge, to me is like giving them power. The power to understand and make informed choices. Why wouldn’t they listen?? I cried because the father was weak, to weak to stand up to his mother in law, he is a leader of a congregation but below his mother-in-law’s whiplash of a tongue he is a child, obeying whatever she says. I cried in advance, for this kid’s funeral. I will pray for a miracle, that that is not the end result for this child. I pray that hopefully the short course of treatment we have given might see him come out of the woodwork tomorrow. I pray that he will return to the happy cheerful and healthy child he once was. And i pray that the people of Samoa (not everyone, but the ones who need it) grow some brains and some balls.
And to think, me and a priest. I think I can be excused but a priest?hmm..Not so sure.
I knew when I restarted work that I would come into contact with the same frustrations I fought in Upolu. It’s not the place but the people. The same, occasionally, (not everyone) ill informed overly superstitious and ignorant (and excuse me but basically stupid) persons….in charge of small sick children who cannot look after themselves and are at the mercy of idiots. I cried on our round today, not once or twice but maybe a good 5 times I had to walk out and go to the bathroom. I’m not sure if it was the anger, anger that these people just didn’t seem to “get” what I was explaining, warning and begging them to beware of, or the sadness I had for the child at the mercy of these morons. At the centre of this scandal is a 4yr old boy. He’s been sick likely a full two weeks at home. He has the clear picture of typhoid sepsis; typhoid at most rears its ugly head as a brief stint of stomach ailments and fevers, but at its worse can ravage ones body to the point of dehydration, inflamed bowels, bleeding, and shock. This kid was rushed into ED at that point. He probably had a good 2 cups of fluid left in his body, had profuse uncontrollable diarrhoea, was just lying there oblivious to anyone groaning in pain esp. if anyone got anywhere near his tummy, had a glazed look over his eyes, that look of impending death. We had to quickly get some fluid into him and then started our treatment for him.
It was soon discovered that he had been quite unwell for a good week at home at the mercy of a fofo, being fed all sorts of rubbish (well…all the traditional remedies, some of which are probably ok for fever and mild viral infections but not for major illnesses) likely forced down his throat as he could not even eat or swallow anything of his own accord. I explained to the family our likely diagnosis and then need for careful but rigorous treatment which in his case would be for no less then 14 days. After only a day and a bit in hosp, the family are wanting to take him home. His dehydration is corrected but the kid is still very sick, unable to eat or drink, walk or talk is still delirious - we were contemplating sending him over to Apia for close monitoring and further treatment there. The reason they want to take him??? Nobody can (be bothered to) stay and look after him in hosp. The father (the priest) was busy with church/village activities, the mother has other children and commitments at home, the grandmother (who is actually at the root of all evil in this case) has to go to NZ for something in 2 days so has to go prepare blab la. On informing them that the kid is still critically ill the grandmother starts huffing and puffing and going on about him not being any better, he was better off at home (were he was literally dying of dehydration) in the background there are murmurs of taking him back to a fofo. Bla bla. I begged the father to put his son first, above all his other commitments and duties (if I could say what I was actually thinking in my head it would be along the lines of “are you f*#n crazy? Your son is dying and you want to go prepare for Sunday mass??”) I told him his village could wait they would understand his child is critically unwell, I begged the stupid grandmother who was insistent he was ‘better of at home and its not typhoid it’s some Samoan disease affecting his throat’. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to get lost cos I could see the father actually wanted to the kid to stay but was being pressured by this crazy woman (his mother in law).
To cut a long story short I lost the battle, no amount of tears -:to give us one more day to try to get him at least well enough to drink (I mean what the hell are they going to do at home if he cant drink?? They’re going to choke him with some moronic concoction because he is too delirious to swallow that’s what) no amount of begging, no amount of threatening (along the lines of “it’ll be on your head if your kid dies, not at the will of god cause god has taught us how to cure this and you are making the decision to not let us carry this out…not god”) no amount of quiet encouragement and pleading could change their minds. They just stared at me blankly as if not a word I said registered, and then asked for the self discharge form to sign. It’s so true that saying you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. No amount of persuasion, pleading begging and beating could make this horse drink. And it just tore me up inside. Why the hell did the even bring the kid to hospital for?? It’s like oh we’ll give this a go and now they’ve decided they can’t be bothered or aren’t patient enough to await the desired result (cure) and have made a really ill informed decision.
I cried today because I hurt for the child who suffers. Because he has no voice. No voice to say no, lets not do that, I want to live. I cried because they wouldn’t listen to me. Most times in my profession you say something, and people listen. Most people here know very little about anatomy and disease, so giving them knowledge, to me is like giving them power. The power to understand and make informed choices. Why wouldn’t they listen?? I cried because the father was weak, to weak to stand up to his mother in law, he is a leader of a congregation but below his mother-in-law’s whiplash of a tongue he is a child, obeying whatever she says. I cried in advance, for this kid’s funeral. I will pray for a miracle, that that is not the end result for this child. I pray that hopefully the short course of treatment we have given might see him come out of the woodwork tomorrow. I pray that he will return to the happy cheerful and healthy child he once was. And i pray that the people of Samoa (not everyone, but the ones who need it) grow some brains and some balls.
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