Yes, I remember this word being used back in my "Dunners" days of Academia (Dunedin).I remember being introduced to this word when it was used to describe a 'mental' disorder of foreigners (Pacific islanders) who moved over to aotearoa and just didn't get it.Didn't get the food and the cold and the hard work to send money back to the islands and all the damned paperwork needed to just about do anything other then sit on a toilet... Didn't get the swing of things and slowly slid off into depression...well I think this is what I have for fleeting moments everyday...bush adjustment disorder I suppose I would call it ha ha!
On some days, or...for some moments on some days, I really dont mind the bush- and having to 'adjust'...there's no harm done, life here is pretty tranquil and merry ( I suppose if you looked at the little box I live in) and people are just going about their merry way of living in the bush - it is what it is, which might not be what I am used to or would prefer but I deal with it and its fine and dandy. But other days, things get to me, like not having any other people with a similar conversation agenda/background/humor etc..other then my husband and his dear relatives (brother and father mostly, if I'm lucky) to dialogue with (talk about lack of Oestrogen!!) no cinemas or cafes to hang out at or gyms to go manic over going or not going to,even just having relies who I could 'drive over' to see and share a cuppa coffee (or baileys) with on an afternoon or two...and then there a moments where people 'say' things that make me feel all the more like an outsider and not only that...like I'm a snob and not WANTING to become part of the big bad bush...
Like this particular question Ive been asked a time or two- someone asked me why "I dont take my kids into the village" more..to play with the village kids...I suppose my hubby and his siblings have fond memories of hanging out with all their friends in the village growing up - dirty as rag dolls running through the ma'umaga getting stung by bees and chased by wild boars (well, maybe not wild boars but you get my drift)etc....thing is, they forget that back in those days, they had like 10 uncles and aunties and their 50 other cousins who also grew up with them here, also hung out in the so called village, so it was more like a few other village kids hung out with their herd of family kids...for me, its totally different..I am the only offspring - or should i said married to da offspring, with kids here from our family..there are no cousins or aunties or uncles with kids hanging around-there's NO ONE here..everyones up and left and is living it up overseas somewhere while me and da hubby are the one couple residing here with kids..its really just me...so to venture out to hang out with...who again?? who exactly am I meant to take my kids to hang out with???
Up to now, the only village women I know of names are my babysitter and da business employees...thats it..hmmm...to make matters worse, my hubby's sisters, bless their souls, have instilled a ruthless fear and over-protection in me by pointing out families living around us where "that guy flashed me his willy when I was 10"....so uh, exactly how can one expect that I'm going to be setting my kids free in this village again??Its not all sunshine and laughter in paradise here you know.. uhhh...nah...sorry. If that counts me in as a snob well its kids first I say...and if that means that they may never venture past our grounds gates and be free with the village...sorry if that offends you..when my kids go to my own family compound in Apia, where they have 10,000 cousins and aunties and unlces loooking out for them...they can run free and join in the merry fun....but yea...that about sums that chapter up ...but you think I could explain ALL THAT to the jolly soul who asks me "why" I dont take my kids to hang out with the village kids....its not really a fair question when I dont really 'know' anyone here..and expecting that I will walk out into someones yard and be like "hi, my name is..." well, not gonna happen because thats just not in my nature...and if the conversation has to be in Samoan, well then-even more reason it aint gonna happen because its gonna come out all papagu and I'd just make a fool of myself, feel embarrassed and leave...
ANYWAYS...to cope with adjustment disorder in the village I just- 1) avoid village consultations, bless my childrens' babysitters soul for taking all my mafutaga o tina's contributions for me 2) keep busy with work, and sane by perusing the internet facebook work of blogs every once in a while 3) when its just all gotten a bit much, hop on da ferry and GO to da big city- AKA Apia...
besides, its probably better that I come across as an outsider as sometimes I worry if I got too close to people they would all just start asking me for small loans...
so theres a story for you, a particular lady from a nearby dwelling, whose relative has worked for us for many years, shows up on my doorstep one morning, asking very politely if she can burrow $50tala for an urgent matter, that she would have back in my hand the next day as her brother was sending her money from NZ but it would take a day to get here, whereas she needed the $$ now...and because of the trust I have with her relative, in good faith I leant her the cash. did it come back? No...did it go to anything useful? I later find out NO it didn't...despite hearing as well that this lady parades all 5 different bingos a week at nearby villages religiously and is obviously not short of cash...I never saw my $50 which REALLY p'd me off...she does not have a phone nor is her dwelling on the way anywhere so contacting her for repayment was a little out of the way and I just couldnt be arsed, the witch shuold have kept her promise...anyways, no amounts of threatening her relatives and friends made her do anything more then go "oops" when asked about this...to make matters worse, I started avoiding buying koko-samoa from her kids who frequently come down to our business to sellem, along with many other families kids too, and she then got other relies kids to parade her ware as someone elses so that I would purchase it!!(I caught the kids red-handed doing this- lying to me about whose koko they had!!!) ...i feel like im being screwed by the damned village at times!! lol!I guess these things are all learning curves and Ill get better at spotting when Im being screwed with in the future haha!!...
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Thursday, May 05, 2011
on a Wednesday evening
Its late evening, early night...and I'm sat at home by myself. Little baby mo is down for the night...hopefully she gives me a couple of hours before her usual midnight antics...I get the occasional wif of Samoan koko, roasting into the night and in the distance the faint roar of waves crashing on the reef.Its a pleasant warming smell, the koko, and a soothing but at times unnerving sound, the reef. It reminds me that these people, that we, are in touch with the earth and the sea and our surroundings and nature. She produces and we harvest, we reap , we sow....she pounces we suffer, we repair..we go on.
The news of a tornado in Auckland has just splashed across the TV news...how strange, the tsunami here, then the earthquakes in Christchurch, the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, and now a tornado in Auckland!! Its unheard of! I'm slightly disturbed. Is this something to worry about? I cant help but wonder if nature has decided to turn against us after all.. I remember the assignment my geography expert little sister did, dictating the trend in natural disasters in the pacific. Not necessarily increasing in frequency but in intensity. The thought of this haunts me ever so often, especially when thinking about our property and our business... I worry about the tsunami every once in a while too. We are by the sea. What if it came at night? Without a warning? What about my two young children?would we get out quick enough? Could i get to my life jackets I pathetically but preciously keep in the house?would my hubby run off to save the guests and get swallowed by a galu afi?? I wish my fears were recognised more and someone could say- “don't worry, tomorrow we will build you a house up in the hills” but alas, this is wishful thinking no doubt.
It is odd to think that 5 years ago we lived in a developed country. Child-less. In high paying jobs (come to think of it now) at the time, if you had told us we were fortunate we would have laughed. We certainly did not think so at the time.We certainly took our jobs for granted. And we spent our $ on movies and food and trips and family. Funny that, and when we got pay rises it just meant that we spent more...on what now I cant exactly fathom. Now, we run a business where we cant even afford to pay ourselves most of the time. What we gave up from those years, we did to be closer to family. To our roots. To enjoy and suffer the luxury of being our own bosses.To have kids that could run around barefoot on the grass and topless on a beach. And I look back on those years when we were young and child-less and see how naive i was. I wish someone could have told me to be more appreciative, or at least to save more and invest (in good projects) etc...I wish i built or bought myself a house, cause we probably could have.
Now, i (try to) plan out what i can do in every single hour of a day- not literally mathematically but roughly in my head(!) . This does not include any personal luxuries like napping,reading books, putting on a face mask, painting my toes and at times washing my hair even! This is all business, kids, egging the husband to do stuff...and more business and kids. I want to do so much more and have so much more included, like exercise and cooking more (though i am blessed the husband does this!!) the only reason i can blog now is this is usually ‘putting the baby to sleep’ time, and thank goodness tonite it was a smooth and effortless journey! So now i have moments to spare,AND the laptop is at home!I used to forbid myself from bringing it home incase i was inclined to do some work on it....home time is kiddy time..so no work to distract from what is meant to be quality family time!
I went to Apia for the weekend. It was so busy. The roads were busy and dusty. My usual lot of baby sitters were busy making it a bit tricky with the kids to do all i needed to do. The days were packed with what to do what to buy where to buy it from.alot of disturbing things in the news locally in Apia. Lots of break ins. A couple of violent deaths involving beatings and rocks slammed into peoples heads....was glad to getaway back to my (adopted!) home in Savaii...and recover in our relaxed not yet fraught with crime atmosphere. I also read something very disheartening in the newspaper. That the reason you don't see mozi coils in most other developed countries is because they are banned. The chemicals they contain (and I did pathetically try to google this one time...but got distracted) have been shown to be a horrific cancer inducing agent! Some 10X worse that cigarette smoke!! Ahhhhhh!! And i am the queen of mozi demise, light these coils up everywhere. Seems like it is better to just let em bite, then set yourself up for cancer later in life. Crap. So now, i have banned mozi coils from our house.
Anyways...for the moment, Im at peace with being where I am..in my home, now mozi coil free...away from the bright lights of the city,the hustle and bustle of town, away from work (for now) sat in my house beside the ever rising ever noisy but also serenading ocean..wondering what Thursday has in store for me...goodnight
The news of a tornado in Auckland has just splashed across the TV news...how strange, the tsunami here, then the earthquakes in Christchurch, the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, and now a tornado in Auckland!! Its unheard of! I'm slightly disturbed. Is this something to worry about? I cant help but wonder if nature has decided to turn against us after all.. I remember the assignment my geography expert little sister did, dictating the trend in natural disasters in the pacific. Not necessarily increasing in frequency but in intensity. The thought of this haunts me ever so often, especially when thinking about our property and our business... I worry about the tsunami every once in a while too. We are by the sea. What if it came at night? Without a warning? What about my two young children?would we get out quick enough? Could i get to my life jackets I pathetically but preciously keep in the house?would my hubby run off to save the guests and get swallowed by a galu afi?? I wish my fears were recognised more and someone could say- “don't worry, tomorrow we will build you a house up in the hills” but alas, this is wishful thinking no doubt.
It is odd to think that 5 years ago we lived in a developed country. Child-less. In high paying jobs (come to think of it now) at the time, if you had told us we were fortunate we would have laughed. We certainly did not think so at the time.We certainly took our jobs for granted. And we spent our $ on movies and food and trips and family. Funny that, and when we got pay rises it just meant that we spent more...on what now I cant exactly fathom. Now, we run a business where we cant even afford to pay ourselves most of the time. What we gave up from those years, we did to be closer to family. To our roots. To enjoy and suffer the luxury of being our own bosses.To have kids that could run around barefoot on the grass and topless on a beach. And I look back on those years when we were young and child-less and see how naive i was. I wish someone could have told me to be more appreciative, or at least to save more and invest (in good projects) etc...I wish i built or bought myself a house, cause we probably could have.
Now, i (try to) plan out what i can do in every single hour of a day- not literally mathematically but roughly in my head(!) . This does not include any personal luxuries like napping,reading books, putting on a face mask, painting my toes and at times washing my hair even! This is all business, kids, egging the husband to do stuff...and more business and kids. I want to do so much more and have so much more included, like exercise and cooking more (though i am blessed the husband does this!!) the only reason i can blog now is this is usually ‘putting the baby to sleep’ time, and thank goodness tonite it was a smooth and effortless journey! So now i have moments to spare,AND the laptop is at home!I used to forbid myself from bringing it home incase i was inclined to do some work on it....home time is kiddy time..so no work to distract from what is meant to be quality family time!
I went to Apia for the weekend. It was so busy. The roads were busy and dusty. My usual lot of baby sitters were busy making it a bit tricky with the kids to do all i needed to do. The days were packed with what to do what to buy where to buy it from.alot of disturbing things in the news locally in Apia. Lots of break ins. A couple of violent deaths involving beatings and rocks slammed into peoples heads....was glad to getaway back to my (adopted!) home in Savaii...and recover in our relaxed not yet fraught with crime atmosphere. I also read something very disheartening in the newspaper. That the reason you don't see mozi coils in most other developed countries is because they are banned. The chemicals they contain (and I did pathetically try to google this one time...but got distracted) have been shown to be a horrific cancer inducing agent! Some 10X worse that cigarette smoke!! Ahhhhhh!! And i am the queen of mozi demise, light these coils up everywhere. Seems like it is better to just let em bite, then set yourself up for cancer later in life. Crap. So now, i have banned mozi coils from our house.
Anyways...for the moment, Im at peace with being where I am..in my home, now mozi coil free...away from the bright lights of the city,the hustle and bustle of town, away from work (for now) sat in my house beside the ever rising ever noisy but also serenading ocean..wondering what Thursday has in store for me...goodnight
Saturday, April 02, 2011
daylight savings...samoa style
So, for all my sch scoffing at the constant reminders everywhere about 'when to switch your clocks back'...I now cant remember if it was meant to be last night or tonight or tomorrow night! eh...woke up and the TV station had it switched back, turned on the laptop and don't know HOW it knows this but a message popped up reminding me that SAMOA's daylight savings ends tomorrow meaning i switch clocks back tomorrow..and no one can tell me so far, not the hubby or the workers if it has actually changed! so we are all operating on, 'I-dont-know-the time' time, which is nothing new here in Samoa, ok, lets just say Savaii then he he!!
I was telling the hubby recently that half our issues with workers who are real casual about NOT being prompt to work, is that they dont have a watch or a phone...so they dont really have any idea of the time. They catch the bus to work, get to the front gate stop at da shop in the front, faikakala to the shopkeeper, stroll down the front drive, stop and chat to the neighbors and then arrive thinking its only been 5 minutes since they left their houses to a fuming me, who has been expecting this person over an hour ago and is ready to FIRE everyone..but whats the point? it would mean just that..fire EVERYONE coz everyone does it! oh the joys of living where i live... What I need to do is get someone to bring me over a box of $5dollar watches for all da workers!!
So this morning we were woken with a phone call indicating someone in da village needed da hubby to bring his behind over with our car to do da village shopping for da village meeting. so thats fine, hubby disappears, heres me thinking for an hour! then the power goes off..uma cashpower..so im texting everyone if anyone of 3 adults living in our house bought any cards in advance,No..so next is I dont have a car to go buy some and the shop that sells is quite a distance away...trying to text da hubby where hes at ..no relpy, later discover he is now AT da meeting and part of da meeting so there goes the whole morning for sure, thanks for letting me know!! Thanks also to cash power for imposing your cashpower regime on us, and then not making the cashpower cards available to every village, theres like 1 shop in a 10km or more radius here that sells em and when they are out and da EPC office downtown is closed, ia, well kafi your afi outside with some fafies coz no one is coming to your rescue mate. I heard that DIGICEL offered them an easy solution that would let us purchase power with digicel cards, ae airena se fia rub shoulders epc to the idea, so fanks for making life easier now, suppose less available cards means less power for all meaning less work for your generators, thats gotta be good when they are always encouraging everyone to save power!chuhoo..se malo EPC.
Anyways, so now i have to resort to walking to da shop some distance away -OMG lol! not really but the 3yo is hangin off my dress going mummy me come!! mummy me come! so we walk, and I get ambushed by the village women, who tell me dat Im down for supplying da kau i'as for da 'fafaga' of da fai-aogas next saturday here for suegas..I THINK, thats what she said..not entirely sure thats 100% accurate but sounded something like that. I suppose if I were a fisherman that would be a good deal ...anyhow, those particular saoga-meas annoy me a tad...when its feeding teachers for no real special occasion even...like, ok...bring your lunch with you? and if there are 4 teachers and 20 village women each bringing some form of food, dang thats a whole feast there!! i just dont get these people coming up with decisions like this and than not actually being able to afford to carry them out...I would know because i get the stream of "please can I aikalafu $50" (er, you mean HAVE- big difference, if you dont ever intend to repay me- than its HAVE and not aikalafu) eh...I have concluded that these are the cause of my small gnag of grey hairs now popping up mysteriously!! lol..so i am gonna try not to worry over these things as there are bigger things going on in the world!
I'm in limbo at da moment with what I am doing in the near future. The opportunity to do part time work again at the Hospital is there and Im seriously considering it to change the scenery and get the braincells working a bit:) Sometimes I look at myself and ask if this is where I saw myself at 30? (cos you know, Im not yet 30 but its just round the corner!!) and I can honestly say- no. Although I dont know where exactly I saw myself, just not exactly where I am at today. I thought I would have done more for myself, but I guess I only have myself to blame (quoting good old Dr Phills- " you are a product of the decisions YOU make for yourself!") thanks Dr Phil, although Blame sounds pessimistic and I hafta say Im certainly not pessimistic or dissappointed, I guess at times its more like Im just baffled haha! Ua ke'i a le keige Apia e ala ifo lesi kaeao ga ua nofo i Savaii ha ha!
ok, so thats enough philosophizing for the day...was very happy with the evictees of American Idol last night, I know who I want off next but will just hafta wait for next week. In the meantime Im gearing up for a bake-a-thon for easter in Savaii..and then a really busy MAy though I might be at the hospital by then so- haha, someone else can do the work im currently doing...or wait a minute..boo hoo it might be me after work at da hospital! oh well im SUPERMUM sometimes..when I feel like it...
Ok, gonna sign off for now- ciao and fa laia
I was telling the hubby recently that half our issues with workers who are real casual about NOT being prompt to work, is that they dont have a watch or a phone...so they dont really have any idea of the time. They catch the bus to work, get to the front gate stop at da shop in the front, faikakala to the shopkeeper, stroll down the front drive, stop and chat to the neighbors and then arrive thinking its only been 5 minutes since they left their houses to a fuming me, who has been expecting this person over an hour ago and is ready to FIRE everyone..but whats the point? it would mean just that..fire EVERYONE coz everyone does it! oh the joys of living where i live... What I need to do is get someone to bring me over a box of $5dollar watches for all da workers!!
So this morning we were woken with a phone call indicating someone in da village needed da hubby to bring his behind over with our car to do da village shopping for da village meeting. so thats fine, hubby disappears, heres me thinking for an hour! then the power goes off..uma cashpower..so im texting everyone if anyone of 3 adults living in our house bought any cards in advance,No..so next is I dont have a car to go buy some and the shop that sells is quite a distance away...trying to text da hubby where hes at ..no relpy, later discover he is now AT da meeting and part of da meeting so there goes the whole morning for sure, thanks for letting me know!! Thanks also to cash power for imposing your cashpower regime on us, and then not making the cashpower cards available to every village, theres like 1 shop in a 10km or more radius here that sells em and when they are out and da EPC office downtown is closed, ia, well kafi your afi outside with some fafies coz no one is coming to your rescue mate. I heard that DIGICEL offered them an easy solution that would let us purchase power with digicel cards, ae airena se fia rub shoulders epc to the idea, so fanks for making life easier now, suppose less available cards means less power for all meaning less work for your generators, thats gotta be good when they are always encouraging everyone to save power!chuhoo..se malo EPC.
Anyways, so now i have to resort to walking to da shop some distance away -OMG lol! not really but the 3yo is hangin off my dress going mummy me come!! mummy me come! so we walk, and I get ambushed by the village women, who tell me dat Im down for supplying da kau i'as for da 'fafaga' of da fai-aogas next saturday here for suegas..I THINK, thats what she said..not entirely sure thats 100% accurate but sounded something like that. I suppose if I were a fisherman that would be a good deal ...anyhow, those particular saoga-meas annoy me a tad...when its feeding teachers for no real special occasion even...like, ok...bring your lunch with you? and if there are 4 teachers and 20 village women each bringing some form of food, dang thats a whole feast there!! i just dont get these people coming up with decisions like this and than not actually being able to afford to carry them out...I would know because i get the stream of "please can I aikalafu $50" (er, you mean HAVE- big difference, if you dont ever intend to repay me- than its HAVE and not aikalafu) eh...I have concluded that these are the cause of my small gnag of grey hairs now popping up mysteriously!! lol..so i am gonna try not to worry over these things as there are bigger things going on in the world!
I'm in limbo at da moment with what I am doing in the near future. The opportunity to do part time work again at the Hospital is there and Im seriously considering it to change the scenery and get the braincells working a bit:) Sometimes I look at myself and ask if this is where I saw myself at 30? (cos you know, Im not yet 30 but its just round the corner!!) and I can honestly say- no. Although I dont know where exactly I saw myself, just not exactly where I am at today. I thought I would have done more for myself, but I guess I only have myself to blame (quoting good old Dr Phills- " you are a product of the decisions YOU make for yourself!") thanks Dr Phil, although Blame sounds pessimistic and I hafta say Im certainly not pessimistic or dissappointed, I guess at times its more like Im just baffled haha! Ua ke'i a le keige Apia e ala ifo lesi kaeao ga ua nofo i Savaii ha ha!
ok, so thats enough philosophizing for the day...was very happy with the evictees of American Idol last night, I know who I want off next but will just hafta wait for next week. In the meantime Im gearing up for a bake-a-thon for easter in Savaii..and then a really busy MAy though I might be at the hospital by then so- haha, someone else can do the work im currently doing...or wait a minute..boo hoo it might be me after work at da hospital! oh well im SUPERMUM sometimes..when I feel like it...
Ok, gonna sign off for now- ciao and fa laia
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