It is now June and I have just realised that I am averaging about one post every 3 months! Pretty slack of me aye! But I guess life has gotten in the way (!) so many things to do , so little time! Sometimes I wish we could have 7 day weeks (yikes!) But then 5 day weekends (wuhoo!) Unlikely but one can always dream!! At this 6 month mark of the year, I look back and eyeball what I have done with my life. Having re-read my December (sour) post I think I can say I am not wallowing in that boat at this minute! I think December is always a semi-somber time for me because its always low season and crunch time at the hotel where we make all our losses, (!) haha.
This June, My sister is at the forefront of my mind because 4 yrs ago almost exactly, my 24 yr old sister passed away in a tragic car accident. I can not speak or even write about her without getting all choked up because the experience of losing her is still so raw, I can remember it like it was yesterday. The worst of the many snippets of the long memory are remembering that she had asked me to stay behind in Apia, but I decided to come back to Savaii anyways because I had to work the following days and did'nt want to rush back on an early ferry. Then remembering the call I got in Savaii at night from my mum wanting me to pull some strings and find out what had happened (they were in the waiting area of the hosp) And then being told her pupils were fixed and dilated. I don't think these memories will ever fade or become any less painful. When they pop into my head they are like someone had just whacked my chest with a baseball bat, and when they are not there then they are not there.
This June I am 3 months into opening my clinic. This was something I have wanted to do ever since I got to Savaii. GPs are practically non existent (there is only 1 on the island) and the hospital is always busy with long waits and you just cant do any preventative medicine or educating because there is always a brood of patients staring over the back wanting you to hurry up and get to their number. I can happily say things are completely different at my clinic. I spend alot more time with my patients and it is almost an everyday occasion when at the end of my consult, someone thanks my for explaining their chronic illness to them. For years they had just had repeated medications given and they had no idea what their illness was. Its always nice to empower people with the knowledge of their health and I do find that people take care of themselves better when they understand whats going on and why they are being treated.
It has still been a bit slow and there are still days where I see no one (!) so there is still no trallas coming in just yet! Whoever said that doing medicine would make you money?hehe! I know I didn't help myself by not having a sign up for the first month and a half!!
It has been interesting none the less. One GP said it very well when he said the concept of a private dr/GP in Savaii is still very new and alot of people seem timid and shy when they come and are confused about payment- some offer me their pensions and ask if I can charge the hospital because the hospital sees pensioners for free!!lol
Some classic ones were -
Mr M from a nearby village comes along. He says his wife saw me and I "fixed" her , she had troubles with her tummy and is over the moon that I had sorted it out. She was so impressed she insisted her husband came to see me . So I question - Are you ok? is there anything wrong?
answer- No I am fine, I am fit and well have a plantation that I work on everyday , Ive never been to hospital before
me- So do you want to general check up ? or was there another reason your wife sent you?
answer- no I dont need a check up because I know I am fine, Ive already had my blood pressure and sugar done and they are normal I am well
me??
him- well actually there was a bit of diaorhea, it was profuse and went on for a few days
me- When was this?recently? has it resolved or are you still suffereing from it?
him- No its gone, it was about 2010 that that happened, for about 2 days, I think it was something I ate...
me- Oh ok, thats good that it has resolved (!) was there anything else that you are worried about regarding your health?
him- sometimes, I get headaches, they usually last about an hour and its always in the morning
me- oh ok, have these been occuring more often do you think ? are they associated with any other symptoms and what helps it to go away?
him- 2 panadol do the trick, but yea, I dont know why I would get one, this was about lotu tamaiti time last year....
him- also I get an itchy heel sometimes, theres no rash on anything , its just an odd place to get an itch, if I scratch it goes away, it was January I got it a bit more often when I was doing work in the wet grass...but I dont get it anymore, but now thinking about it, funny place to get an itch aye?
....the conversation went on and on like this before I pronounced him fit and well and healthy and gave him some panadol incase his headache ever came back again.
The next week, I saw his wife again "You know my husaband came last week, and those pills you gave him were magic, they have made him feel so much better thank you for seeing him"
Se makua kaufaasee kele tagata se!! :)
I've had a few Matais come in who spend the first 10 minutes rolling out the formal Samoan greeting (to which I am a lousy reply-er!!) I've had a few people rush in with minor emergencies because the Sapapalii river ford had burst and they could'nt get to the hospital (I hope the man above helps me out and doesn't send me anything like that , that I would not be able to help because I am not set up for emergencies!!) People that have brought their elderly on their mattresses because they can't walk and don't have wheel chairs and lay them on the floor in the front where the store area is...and Ive had to examine them like that (!) ...
I can not say it has not been interesting because it has:) I finally got my car after 4 months of waiting and shes a beauty, nothing flash but drives so comfy and well...I love her...I just hope she doesn't become the bum car running the hotels errands...(!)
So thats all I have for now, until my next 3 monthly update (LOL) take care and ciao!
Monday, June 17, 2013
Thursday, May 02, 2013
Patience
Patience
I must admit, I have never been a very patient person. I didn’t
realise I was such an “impatient” person until not very long ago when someone
pointed out that I have a tendency to ‘interrupt’ people in conversation(!) I don’t do so on purpose at all and infact was horrified when I watched myself on a family film once!!
I think if I look at myself now, its more like “finishing off what people say”
because I already know what they are talking about and they are taking ‘too
long’ to get to the end point(!!lol- what a fiapoko and impatient one aye!) Its mostly my own
close friends and relies I do this too though, unconsciously and not so much
random acquaintances.(so I know they forgive me because I LOVE them!!thankyou!! hehe) Yes I can be very polite and courteous, I think its when I
am too much in my comfort zones that ms impatient dr jekyl my hyde comes outJ
Since getting married and living with the hubby and having
kids, I have really had to learn to dig deep and work on my ‘patience’ skills. Its
hard to know looking at myself whether I have managed to improve on that front
but the hubby says I have. At work thought it’s a whole different story! In my
line of work, at the public hospital, sometimes I simply don’t have time to be
patient. When you have 10 people
breathing down your neck waiting for their “turn” sometimes I need to cut
through to nitty gritty and stop people from exclaiming a million times how
they have an itchy armpit in so many ways (at night after a shower when the
wind blows etc etc) I just need to look at it, I get that it itches. I do try
to do so in the most polite fashion possible but I have been known to literally
put my hand out, and stop people midsentence (talk to the hand! Jks..nah when
they just wont stop after I have asked) However , I swear some days my limits
are tested to the MAX. I swear to the man above if another mum brings in her
teenage daughter to complain that she is lazy
in a million different sentences while she (ms princess) sits there
chewing gum and texting her friends (couldn’t care less) I might just have to
fukislam someone…as a treatmentJ Sometimes I waste 20 minutes of my breadth
trying to find out if by lazy then mean sickly, unwell, is lethargic etc only to discover that no, she or he is just plain lazy and doesn’t ‘want ‘
to do fe’aus etc… but she is certainly “NOT SICK” they are healthy, I might just have to prescribe
get the h#*ck out of hereL
OMG…people please don’t expect the Dr (or the teacher for that matter) to sort
out your hormonal kids ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. I have no skillz for that except a look
that says WTF
Other things that test my patience….. crying kids who are
very sick whos mum sent them in with a neighbour/housegirl because she is busy
at work/shopping/at a faalavelave…are you serious…I wish we had cyfs here in
Samoa…arrest them all I say (!)
People who come and
exclaim they just need a prescription but they don’t need me to check them over
because they already know what they have , the fofo said it’s a “toalamumumatesilailugamuli”
Fofos who rush patients to the hospital literally dying or
recently deceased (giving us next to 0 chance of helping them) and then
proclaim loudly outside with the gathering of mourning family that it was the
hospitals fault (uhm can we pass a law please to prosecute these people??)
OK..need to stop there because I can feel my blood pressure
rising. Lately I think Ive been
impatient because I have felt helpless a lot. I thought once that I cried a lot
because I was hormonal, hello my youngest is turning 3 soon so I think I am way
out of the pregnancy post preganancy hormonal excuses. Now its just too much
emotion. You came too late = cant help you. You chose not to return before =
cant help you. You couldn’t be bothered and threw away your medicines= cant
help you. Your child was low on your priority listas you had too many
faalavelaves and got sick= cant help you.
People, the first step to the new improved you or your kid, is to take
accept that you must first help yourself (or your kid) . And not help yourself
last . A family rushed in with a kid today with a football of a boil on his
tiny little thigh.Obviously he is was in a lot of pain. He had written across his
thigh with a marker “IESU”…(ie this was
the treatment he was getting the last few days ) last time I checked, the man
above was not giving out miracles. He was also not at our beck and call and we
can not command him to ‘fix’ something.
I do believe, that it was with his help that Medical people do what they
do. I know I would not have survived medical school without him and goes the
same for many many other medics out there. They do what they do with his help
because of a passion to serve. To help
other people (or at least most do or should do!!) I do believe that through us
his work is done, and people should start realising that. We are not Aliens or Atheists…
Ok, I should stop now pei ia ua off on a tangent le mea le
ua ou alu I ai!!Ok, ive got my fingers crossed I get the mothers weekend off
away somewhere nice!!Til then CIAO(myrantandravefortheweekJ )
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I love this..
Came across this on a friends page-- sometimes, I cry when I'm stressed or frustrated, I feel a little silly after and tell myself its all due to hormones and over reacting...but after reading this, I feel a little better about myself and my 'reactions'lol - i.e I must not be ablone, and look at the awesome reason women cry. Screw men who dont get it haha!! xoxo
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked,
"God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart the
place where love resides."
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked,
"God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart the
place where love resides."
Friday, February 15, 2013
my 10 sene
Its been a crazy (is it not always!) last few weeks- been trying to finish a hug project but now down to the last few things that I have no control over...and going nuts at the lack of progress. note to self- remember where you live, yes, you are in Samoa and snails pace is = Samoan pace...awe shux.
anyways, I have decided, that I am a Guru in how men should speak/act- if they just acted the way we women wanted life would be all bees and honey wouldn't it?? But Ive discovered that men really are from mars at times (well a large part of the time) and women from venus.... After years of being married to one and courting one (!) I have compiled my notes and now- since I cannot bestow advice upon my one, who is set in his ways bless his soul, I am going to give advice out (for free!!)lol to all other possible future ones out there, who may just happen to need extra tips on being da bombest man eva.
1) when a woman asks you to do something, don't ever just nod your head and say yes, and then not do it, or proceed to forget you said you would do it. This will result in the boy who cried wolf syndrome, and you will lose trust wit yo woman. If you say yes, put a date on it, say when you actually will have time to do it, and if you need a reminder, ask your woman to remind you at a precise time (i.e the morning of, or the day before) so that when she happens to remind you, she does not have to suffer the complex of feeling like a nag especially when you huff and puff about not having the time bla bla bla...we can say "well you did ask me to remind you" and not have to feel bad...
2) Be courteous and conscience of 'time' ...for women but mostly for mums and especially working mums - time is all mapped out. What we are gonna do in the morning, when we will have time to wash our hair, when the kids need to be put to sleep how much time is put aside for work, family, washing,chores, etc. So if you just happen to be the driver on an errand with your woman and you happen to see 15 people you would like to say hi, stop and chat, catch up with local goss ( cause admit it, men are worse then women at that!!) do keep in mind that your 'not enough time' woman, is really holding her tongue back from lashing out and yelling "hurry the $#&*~! up"....we really are, and we swear alot..in our heads only! Learn to end the conversation, two men talking sometimes is like a dog chasing its tail, neither has the heart or knows how to just end the convo...especially with a "look Im a bit pushed for time right now"...just do it. Women do, we even almost have secret nods of understanding- quick catch up then a "oh hun Ive got to go pick up the kids now" type nod which will usually be responded with a "awe girl, you hurry along I completely understand!! hope you have time to have a decent shower tonite!!" type nod...comprende
3) if you decide you would like to take your woman out on a date. Be it a cheap lunch or drink somewhere. Your woman will interpret that as you would like some you and me time with her. What that means to her is all focus on her. Do not go on to discuss genealogy with the waiter, discuss business with an the bartender..discuss weather or sport or anything for the matter with anyone other then her. That 10 minute conversation you just had all effervescently with the waiter will remind your woman how long its been since you had an effervescent conversation (like ages ago ) and she will also feel like everyone else is more exciting then her (or you are so bored with her) that you had to spend half your date talking to someone else.You just lost all your good points with that right there.
4) women are very conscience of the word 'nag' so at all costs save yourself and don't ever bring the word up. Try to realize that all our gentle reminders, help to get things done..around the house, in our lives, in the business (if you happen to have the luxury (not) of working alongside your hunnybun!) And we don't exactly have very many other people to turn to, unless you would not mind your ego being trod on when we hire some handy man to reinsert a screw or two around the house...yea not gonna happen aye? So be patient, and sometimes, just sometimes, say "oh hunny thanks for reminding me about that"...trust me..I don't want to remind you anymore then you want to hear me remind you...but that leak aint gonna fix itself !!
5). Sometimes, ask us how our days were, and how we are feeling, just to break the monotonous routines we all sometimes get into. Especially when work is on the grind. And when you are asking questions, be prepared to listen, and then throw in a sympathetic comment, or two. i.e "awe that sounds terrible" "shux your day sounded disastrous poor you",... a nod and a silent "mmm hmmm" is a crap response- just listening is not key, showing that you realised what we went through is key. We will just feel like we spilt our souls out and you just mm hmmd it...sometimes, all we want is a pat on the back or a squeeze of the shoulder... you can do it in words and in gestures (that does not include sexual activities)
6) Learn fast, that women are talkers. We are expressers. We like to share our feelings with our other halves, and be understood. The key for you, is knowing how to understand your woman. Sometimes, we will rant for hours because we had crap days...sometimes we will go on about all our problems...do not attempt to offer your solutions....they are not needed. Most times, we know what the problem is, and we even know the solution, its just the shit in getting there that we are ranting about and what we want from you- is support and understanding of what we are going through. as per before- squeeze her shoulder , express your understanding - tell her she is doing a good job or agree with her that so and so are shit(even if they are not) - ranting is sometimes us just calling for your shoulder to lean on...your "well you should have just closed it" or "why didn't you just tell them to shut up" matter of fact replies were not what we were after, in fact, they are miles from it and you will deflate your ranting women into a small pile of palapala when you speak to her like that. you are soul mates not business partners...
7)Say sorry when you know you are in the wrong. Apparently experts have said the two most difficult phrases to be said amongst humans are " I'm sorry" and " I need help"...sometimes, a small little I'm sorry makes all the difference. The "ok I see I was wrong" is not really an I'm sorry..and saying you are sorry DOES NOT mean you are giving up your manliness or giving in to some unspoken demand that you have fabricated women have...it is not accepting defeat in world war three...its a minor complication in the huge spectrum of life..that a little sorry would make all the difference to a lovely rest of the evening, or a shit rest of the week. Decide and bite the bullet...we have no problem saying it- lets be visa versa when it comes to sorry.
8) Don't speak to your loved one in the same tone you would speak to your employees with. It is belittling, and unloving. We take ages to recover from it, and we have given up trying to tell you how it results in avalanches of miserable thoughts and feelings in our head. Don't do it, respect each other and hold on to that respect. If you go down that pathway, there is one exit and its miserable...keep the peace and keep the respect. you are meant to nurture your love and make it grow. Not beat it and see how resilient it is....
9) all that cliche stuff about surprising her with flowers and bringing her gifts...do it. Even if we say we don't mind (that you forgot a birthday or anniversary) or we claim that we are not high maintenance and don't need gifts...women are in need of loving nourishment and this is one of many ways you can do it. No we know we dont need it..and to be honest, I could make myself forget about it, BUT at the end of the day, we are the estrogen and you the testosterone. One is all muscles and the other is fluff. Fluff likes to be fluffed...fluff her up with a present a flower when she least expects it. You will make her day and her week. Keep it simple it doesn't need to be shiny and glamorous...it just needs to have your loving stamp of thoughtfulness on it..we love it, sap it all up:) And brownie points to you
and 10...
Hmm..what is 10. Remember, that at the end of the day. We all married our best friends (well we think we did, and maybe some of us didn't woops!) friends have fun together. Laugh, enjoy each others company. Go out, have a coffee together, watch a movie..watch a sunrise or a sunset. Steal those 1hours without the kids to just sit in each others presence and arms and enjoy each others company. Make each other laugh, joke, smile, be dumb together!! If you cant do that, that what sort of future do you have in store for yourselves?? We need to be happy, and sometimes, that takes a bit of work, a bit of understanding. Its not all fireworks and sparkles forever like that first kiss...no, it changes, but it grows and you grow with it. Nurture the love between the two of you and don't take it for granted.
ok...das ALL on da advice for the week:) til next time- love Dr signing off right thur...
Note- non of the above advice is specifically directed at any one or particular man. Mines in particular is awesome awesome and this is most certainly not directed at him. We may have been through a few of the above humps but we got over it, grew learned adapted and loved:)
anyways, I have decided, that I am a Guru in how men should speak/act- if they just acted the way we women wanted life would be all bees and honey wouldn't it?? But Ive discovered that men really are from mars at times (well a large part of the time) and women from venus.... After years of being married to one and courting one (!) I have compiled my notes and now- since I cannot bestow advice upon my one, who is set in his ways bless his soul, I am going to give advice out (for free!!)lol to all other possible future ones out there, who may just happen to need extra tips on being da bombest man eva.
1) when a woman asks you to do something, don't ever just nod your head and say yes, and then not do it, or proceed to forget you said you would do it. This will result in the boy who cried wolf syndrome, and you will lose trust wit yo woman. If you say yes, put a date on it, say when you actually will have time to do it, and if you need a reminder, ask your woman to remind you at a precise time (i.e the morning of, or the day before) so that when she happens to remind you, she does not have to suffer the complex of feeling like a nag especially when you huff and puff about not having the time bla bla bla...we can say "well you did ask me to remind you" and not have to feel bad...
2) Be courteous and conscience of 'time' ...for women but mostly for mums and especially working mums - time is all mapped out. What we are gonna do in the morning, when we will have time to wash our hair, when the kids need to be put to sleep how much time is put aside for work, family, washing,chores, etc. So if you just happen to be the driver on an errand with your woman and you happen to see 15 people you would like to say hi, stop and chat, catch up with local goss ( cause admit it, men are worse then women at that!!) do keep in mind that your 'not enough time' woman, is really holding her tongue back from lashing out and yelling "hurry the $#&*~! up"....we really are, and we swear alot..in our heads only! Learn to end the conversation, two men talking sometimes is like a dog chasing its tail, neither has the heart or knows how to just end the convo...especially with a "look Im a bit pushed for time right now"...just do it. Women do, we even almost have secret nods of understanding- quick catch up then a "oh hun Ive got to go pick up the kids now" type nod which will usually be responded with a "awe girl, you hurry along I completely understand!! hope you have time to have a decent shower tonite!!" type nod...comprende
3) if you decide you would like to take your woman out on a date. Be it a cheap lunch or drink somewhere. Your woman will interpret that as you would like some you and me time with her. What that means to her is all focus on her. Do not go on to discuss genealogy with the waiter, discuss business with an the bartender..discuss weather or sport or anything for the matter with anyone other then her. That 10 minute conversation you just had all effervescently with the waiter will remind your woman how long its been since you had an effervescent conversation (like ages ago ) and she will also feel like everyone else is more exciting then her (or you are so bored with her) that you had to spend half your date talking to someone else.You just lost all your good points with that right there.
4) women are very conscience of the word 'nag' so at all costs save yourself and don't ever bring the word up. Try to realize that all our gentle reminders, help to get things done..around the house, in our lives, in the business (if you happen to have the luxury (not) of working alongside your hunnybun!) And we don't exactly have very many other people to turn to, unless you would not mind your ego being trod on when we hire some handy man to reinsert a screw or two around the house...yea not gonna happen aye? So be patient, and sometimes, just sometimes, say "oh hunny thanks for reminding me about that"...trust me..I don't want to remind you anymore then you want to hear me remind you...but that leak aint gonna fix itself !!
5). Sometimes, ask us how our days were, and how we are feeling, just to break the monotonous routines we all sometimes get into. Especially when work is on the grind. And when you are asking questions, be prepared to listen, and then throw in a sympathetic comment, or two. i.e "awe that sounds terrible" "shux your day sounded disastrous poor you",... a nod and a silent "mmm hmmm" is a crap response- just listening is not key, showing that you realised what we went through is key. We will just feel like we spilt our souls out and you just mm hmmd it...sometimes, all we want is a pat on the back or a squeeze of the shoulder... you can do it in words and in gestures (that does not include sexual activities)
6) Learn fast, that women are talkers. We are expressers. We like to share our feelings with our other halves, and be understood. The key for you, is knowing how to understand your woman. Sometimes, we will rant for hours because we had crap days...sometimes we will go on about all our problems...do not attempt to offer your solutions....they are not needed. Most times, we know what the problem is, and we even know the solution, its just the shit in getting there that we are ranting about and what we want from you- is support and understanding of what we are going through. as per before- squeeze her shoulder , express your understanding - tell her she is doing a good job or agree with her that so and so are shit(even if they are not) - ranting is sometimes us just calling for your shoulder to lean on...your "well you should have just closed it" or "why didn't you just tell them to shut up" matter of fact replies were not what we were after, in fact, they are miles from it and you will deflate your ranting women into a small pile of palapala when you speak to her like that. you are soul mates not business partners...
7)Say sorry when you know you are in the wrong. Apparently experts have said the two most difficult phrases to be said amongst humans are " I'm sorry" and " I need help"...sometimes, a small little I'm sorry makes all the difference. The "ok I see I was wrong" is not really an I'm sorry..and saying you are sorry DOES NOT mean you are giving up your manliness or giving in to some unspoken demand that you have fabricated women have...it is not accepting defeat in world war three...its a minor complication in the huge spectrum of life..that a little sorry would make all the difference to a lovely rest of the evening, or a shit rest of the week. Decide and bite the bullet...we have no problem saying it- lets be visa versa when it comes to sorry.
8) Don't speak to your loved one in the same tone you would speak to your employees with. It is belittling, and unloving. We take ages to recover from it, and we have given up trying to tell you how it results in avalanches of miserable thoughts and feelings in our head. Don't do it, respect each other and hold on to that respect. If you go down that pathway, there is one exit and its miserable...keep the peace and keep the respect. you are meant to nurture your love and make it grow. Not beat it and see how resilient it is....
9) all that cliche stuff about surprising her with flowers and bringing her gifts...do it. Even if we say we don't mind (that you forgot a birthday or anniversary) or we claim that we are not high maintenance and don't need gifts...women are in need of loving nourishment and this is one of many ways you can do it. No we know we dont need it..and to be honest, I could make myself forget about it, BUT at the end of the day, we are the estrogen and you the testosterone. One is all muscles and the other is fluff. Fluff likes to be fluffed...fluff her up with a present a flower when she least expects it. You will make her day and her week. Keep it simple it doesn't need to be shiny and glamorous...it just needs to have your loving stamp of thoughtfulness on it..we love it, sap it all up:) And brownie points to you
and 10...
Hmm..what is 10. Remember, that at the end of the day. We all married our best friends (well we think we did, and maybe some of us didn't woops!) friends have fun together. Laugh, enjoy each others company. Go out, have a coffee together, watch a movie..watch a sunrise or a sunset. Steal those 1hours without the kids to just sit in each others presence and arms and enjoy each others company. Make each other laugh, joke, smile, be dumb together!! If you cant do that, that what sort of future do you have in store for yourselves?? We need to be happy, and sometimes, that takes a bit of work, a bit of understanding. Its not all fireworks and sparkles forever like that first kiss...no, it changes, but it grows and you grow with it. Nurture the love between the two of you and don't take it for granted.
ok...das ALL on da advice for the week:) til next time- love Dr signing off right thur...
Note- non of the above advice is specifically directed at any one or particular man. Mines in particular is awesome awesome and this is most certainly not directed at him. We may have been through a few of the above humps but we got over it, grew learned adapted and loved:)
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