The year that was...

The year that was.

And like that, another year is over and a new year is upon us. At least this new years we tried to do something celebratory(!) sat it out in the restaurant, hoping to have a quiet countdown, snacked on fried (expensive as from Frankies but once in your lifetime) scallops, sashimi, nachos and chicken strips (yum)  Unfortunately some random pokers arrived and decided our quiet place was the venue to have a little party, brought their own cell phone trash music and all – don’t know why I got my knickers in a twist its a bar and thats what happens!! Guess I  had just envisioned a relaxing  evening and then ended up helping in the Kitchen ugh...anyways, finally it wound down about 11.30 and the evening was actually ok. The fob savaiians got all excited when we could see Fireworks across the water in Upolu, then a random one firework in Iva!! Then a boat started sending up flares wuhoo exciting...we weren’t sure if that was part of a new years celebration or there was actually someone needing help?? Anyways!!

Looking back on 2012 Im not really sure where the year went.  There was a lot of hotel work, hospital work, some new direction for me at the hospital  and some new attitude at the hotel. When I started in this job there was a time I held peoples cancellation policies like a contract...it is really cos they agree to it, but its such a headache enforcing it that now I just throw my hands in the air and give up.  Its like “Fine” ...who cares that you held these rooms for how many months and now changed your mind cos you met a group of auzzies on the ferry partying it up at some cheap beach fale, you can leave with no penalties just my invisible middle finger in your face...lol. Then all this trip advisor blackmail shit...do this or  i will write...man, if i could write to someone it would be to your mother to tell her what an asswipe she raised!

My kids have grown a mile and Ive gotten sadder about not spending more time with them. Its gotten so busy around here I really just don’t do enough with them. In my head I’d like to be that great mum who plays soccer with them outside and reads heaps of books and does painting with them in afternoons...but most of the time I am pretty slack as. The husbands worse....I don’t think any of those activities even register in his head  as something he should do. He just tickles them with his ava gives em lots of hugs and his dad duty is done.

I bought an ebook from kindle which is supposed to be one of the best selling self help books for communication between couples- I read it and thought it was awesome. The problem with that is some assume that buying such a book equals  a rocky marriage but it doesn’t, i just thought some advice on how to do it better would be useful. I know silent wars and silent treatment is not exactly good communication so I was open for advice. Unfortunately  someone else thought I was brainwashed by a book that’s only purpose was to make money and brainwash people. With that attitude the book got the bin and we are back to the silent treatment...sucks to be me

I prayed more in Family Lotu time...like exactly 3 times maybe.. I really have nothing against our church here or the religion  but I am so not used to the way that we pray now. The Samoan style of allocating someone to ask for forgiveness and give thanks etc. It all sounds so good in Samoan, but coz Im shit as Samoan I have to do it in English and when you translate literally what people pray in Samoan – in English it just sounds Dumb. The first time i got ‘nominated’ to say something i almost wet my pants! It was such an unexpected impromptu prayer that I was really very embarrassed about not being better at...my relatives kind of patted me on the back after...like that says something about that performance!! I really miss my own church, despite the fact that we barely ever went in the last 10 years, I think I just miss it being in English. Such a palagi of me, but at least I could follow what was being preached and related and felt inspired or awed. Nowadays I struggle so much just to understand literally what each word in a sentence means that I don’t even know what the heck is being spoken about...it just becomes a bit disillusioning (if there is such a word) and honestly means that its become almost a chore and not what it is meant to be...

The Village...so the hubby got titled this year. It was an experience never to forget. I am not sure if I played my part well and was even surprised to hear I had a new name..a “Tausi’’ or wife of a Matai. I had never even heard of that word before this. How useless am i!! Funny though the hierarchy of our Samoan system. Some woman came up to me after and was jokingly congratulating me on this new ‘status’ and said something like I can now boss around all the other woman..like wa? I don’t eve ‘want’ to do thatJ ?  The obligation of contributing to ridiculous fundraisers is still ongoing. I don’t even want to get into the nitty gritty about that but just give when Im asked. Today i was told its $150 next weekend...ok. 

We had a cyclone. It didn’t really affect Savaii, the worst thing for us was the ferries being cancelled and so 22 persons wanting to extend their holidays when all we were wanting to do was hide with our kids...instead we were making pots of food occasionally by candlelight and convincing guests that it was unlikely to be possible to get a taxi in the middle of the storm to go visit friends a few miles away. And the shops were all closed because there was a cyclone in progress....no shit.  The damage in Apia was unbelievable. I can not really comprehend what some people in the worst hit areas had to go through, stories of being saved by climbing into an idle boat lying in the lawn for yonks is just crazy. I pray that all those people make a steady recovery and hope that are getting the support and help they need...

Its now been 5 years since I moved to Hawaii, oh Savaii...and to be honest, i really hope  that in another 5 years Im not doing the same thing...or at least I hope to have been on 5 holidays...sometimes I feel like Im rotting my life away here...sometimes i tell myself to be more grateful for the things I have in my life...its a constant rollercoaster between those variables in Savaii...oh the life in the bush!I aint gonna sugar coat it or lie about it, its trying and isolating at times, often I feel out of place or like a complete dimwit for lack of knowing something that apparently all Samoans know!  but I think I have a bit of a hermit side so the most important lack of socialising - being amiss  I  am actually surviving, but doesn’t stop me from peering on the other side of the fence and looking at what shades of green their grass is! 

 When people ask ‘how do you do it’ i just want to throw rocks at them...i don’t know i just do. I got married moved had kids and here I am.  What to look forward to in 2013? Well i should be getting a car soon, from japan, hopefully non radiated from their recent nuclear power meltdown, on time and dent free...blardy taken a freaken long tim e(note I was promised a 6 week turnaround time in September- it is now January and don’t buy your cars from prosper in Japan) ..hopefully a new pool  put in for the hotel that I  can float in and drink wine at midnight to drown my sorrows for lack of any other outrageous avenue to turn to (no where to run less i have to catch a boat  no one to run to...oh the joys of the bush!)  hmm what else,... oh my clinic..yea watch this space on thatJ ... I really need a holiday but before that- note to self, renew passport, renew husbands passport, renew husbands visa...save some trallas and just do it ..do it..as the nike ad says..

Ok thats my two sene for this first day of Jan. Lets await what 2013 has to bring  and hope only for good things!!